"OK, WHAT THE HELL IS IT THINKING NOW?"

Breathe in, notice the silence before breathing out.
Breathe out, notice the silence before breathing in.
 

CONSCIOUSNESS and INTELLIGENCE - senses and responds to information.
SELF-AWARENESS - evaluates information.
BODY, MIND - senses, responds, evaluates information.
MEMORY - body and mind stores information.
NEW BODY and MIND - shadows of parents memories, stores new information.

Breathing has no information.
Focus YOUR mind on YOUR breathing.
If YOUR mind has a thought, YOU lost focus.  Don’t engage the thought.  Refocus.
Practice, until YOUR mind is trained to not think while YOU are focused on breathing.
YOU are not the mind.  YOU have a mind.  Your mind is YOUR tool.  

When not thinking, what’s left?  AWARENESS.  When YOU are asleep, what’s left?  YOUR body’s senses are aware.  

When not thinking, or when asleep, YOU are not aware of YOUR body being aware.  And, if you go deep enough, YOUR body becomes unaware as well.  THAT’S some damn deep focus on no-thing.  When YOU enter that state, YOU are not aware of anything.  

What are YOU when YOU are not aware of anything?  What are YOU when YOU don’t even know you exist?    What are YOU without consciousness, intelligence, self-awareness, memory, body, mind, senses, information?

The ocean is made up of small drops of water.  Once upon a time, one teeny tiny drop of water became conscious, intelligent, self-aware.  It noticed itself having a body, mind, senses, and information.   One day the ocean-drop-of-water stopped focusing on itself, and it lost its personal knowledge of being a drop of water.  It lost it’s consciousness, intelligence, self awareness, its knowledge of being a body, mind, senses and it lost all its information.  What then, was that drop of water?  

Then, one day, the ocean realized it was made of energy, atoms, and that the atoms were made of smaller particles, some so small that there was nothing, nothing at all but tiny flashes of light appearing and just as quickly, disappearing.  Well, this really upset the ocean so it started churning, rising and falling, appearing and disappearing and rising again as monster waves, and then it became one gigantic Tsunami.  Finally it settled down and realized, it too was just energy forming and unforming, and it thought, “Well, I guess, that’s just what energy does.

So...what are you?  You too are just what energy does.  So, in the meantime, while energy is being you, keep in mind, you can either enjoy your time being you, or bitch about it.  It totally depends on how you use your mind.  “OK, what the hell is it thinking now?”

THE OK KID

THE POINT OF LIFE IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT IS BEING TAUGHT IN THE ESOTERIC COMMUNITY (WHICH IS, OF COURSE, PERFECT).

THE OK KID
“Johnny, how come you’re always at peace?”
“Because I’m not nuts.”
“You seem kind of bored.”
“Yeah, ever since nothing bothers me, ever since I’m OK with whatever life does, with what people do, ever since nothing is a problem, it’s been boring.”

Went to a movie.  Really enjoyed it.  It kept my interest.  Didn’t know how it would turn out.  It was full of potential, probabilities.  I was excited to see how all the problems would be solved.  Life creates problems to solve.  Life creates problems.  Thanks, life, for not being boring.  Life would not be worth living  if life wasn’t a problem to solve.  No one goes to a movie, no one watches a play, no one plays a board game, if the actors and players had no problems to solve.  I enjoy watching people to see what they do to solve the problems life throws at them.  Life is full of problems, potential, mystery, adventure, challenge, risk, all exciting, stimulating.  So worth it, so entertaining.  I put Johnny in that situation to see what he would do to survive.  Survival is a problem to solve.  AWESOME.  
LIFE IS FULL OF HIGH ENTROPY, FILLED WITH INDIVIDUAL UNITS OF CONSCIOUSNESS TRYING TO LOWER ENTROPY.  WHEN ENTROPY GETS LOWERED, TIME FOR A DIFFERENT LIFE.  LIFE, THANKFULLY, IS FULL OF PROBLEMS TO SOLVE.  IF IT WASN’T, DEATH WOULD BE EVERYONE’S PREFERENCE.

I’m hungry.  Solve it.  I’m cold, figure it out.  There’s danger.  COOL.  I RESOLVED ALL MY PROBLEMS, AND NOW I’M BORED.  Why did you go to Earth?  No problems here, had to get the hell out of here, had to feel some excitement again, or quit living.  Life is too easy here.  Got bored out of my mind.  IF LIFE WEREN’T A PROBLEM TO SOLVE IT WOULDN’T BE WORTH LIVING, SO MUCH FOR TOM CAMPELL, SADHGURU, ALAN WATTS, OHSO, AND THE BUDDHA.  ALL THOSE DUDES ARE TRYING TO RUIN THE GAME.  THOSE GUYS ARE A REAL PROBLEM THAT NEEDS SOLVING.  SO THANKS GUYS.  NOW I GOTTA FIGURE OUT HOW TO STOP YOU FROM SPREADING YOUR “BE HAPPY, DON’T WORRY,” DISEASE (THANK GOD FOR PROBLEMS).  THE FACT THAT LIFE IS ONE PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER, ALL NEEDING TO BE SOLVED, PROVES THAT GOD REALLY IS LOVE.  IF YOU CAN BE THANKFUL THAT LIFE IS A PROBLEM, IF YOU CAN RECEIVE ALL PROBLEMS WITH THANKFULNESS, YOU’RE LIVING THE BEST LIFE EVER!

A lost guy knocked on my retreat.  I asked him what is wanted.  He said, “I’m hungry.”  I asked if he had a problem with being hungry.  He said no, he was just trying to solve his problem.  I said, what if I chase you and steal your clothes, would that be a problem for you.  He said no.  And then asked, would that be a problem for you if I beat you up.  I said, “Sounds like fun, get ready to run.”

If being hungry is no longer a problem for you because you don’t care if you starve to death, you’re a problem that needs solving.  Talk about life being a paradox (words that contradict themselves).

War is not a problem.  Leaders causing war, getting millions killed, is not a problem.  Peace would be a problem.  The only way to solve the problem of peace, is war.

The paradox with life is that it is a problem to be solved, and once you solve it, it’s no longer a problem, and then you get bored and need new problems to solve, or life isn’t worth living.

I had everything I need, want and desire.  No work required.  Just have it all.  So I gave it all away, and started over.  Now I’m not bored.  I have so many problems to solve.  AWESOME.

PERSONAS

 Old man, flat tire, I  helped.  Why?  Family stranded.  Needed battery.  Gave battery.  Why?  Nowhere to sleep.  Gave place to sleep.  Why?  Hungary, fed.  Why?  No money.  Gave money.  Why?

Connected.  All one.  One energy, many faces.  Cats, dogs, birds, ants, squirrels, humans.  One energy, many forms.  One energy, many personas.

Mark, depressed, old, what he used to do, can’t do.  Energy wasn’t depressed, persona depressed.  Mark thinks he’s Mark.  I know Mark is energy being Mark.  I am helping Mark’s Persona.  Why?  Energy is OK.  Mark not OK.  Why help a persona?  Why deal with personas?

Young child crying.  Child persona, not OK.  Child thinks not at all.  Just didn’t get candy.  Child is energy being child.  Energy OK.  Child not.  Why care about child.  Child is just energy being a persona.  Wife upset.  Didn’t get her way.  Freaking out.  Wife is energy being wife.  Energy OK, wife going crazy.  Why help?

Room full of people upset village destroyed.  No food, no shelter, no water, all will die.  All the people are energy being people.  Energy OK.  People not.  Personas not OK. Why help?

I feel their concern.  Experience their feelings.  Listen to their lamentations.  They are not my concerns, not my feelings, not my lamentations.  They are suffering their personas.  I leave to reflect.  As long as they think they are their personas, are not energy playing a persona, they suffer.  No persona, no suffering.  What to do?

Not proper time to teach.  “Hey guys, you are energy being people.  Energy is not suffering, your persona is suffering.  Get over yourselves, get over your persona.  Energy is OK, is fine.  Quit your bitching”  ( probably not a good time to teach).  What to do?  Why do anything?  Can’t help the ignorant.  

If I give candy to the child crying, I can stop its crying, but I reinforce his persona, make it stronger.  Child has no  concept of what it is, and isn’t.  Whereas the adults in the room crying, have the ability to learn concept, but are too busy crying to teach.  What to do?  Give candy to child to shut it up.  Give shelter, safety, food, water, personas now OK, feeling better.  What’s the point?  Why do it?

Energy being a persona.  Persona tries to kill me.  I kill persona.  Energy is OK.  Persona not so much.  What’s the point?  What’s the point of energy playing personas that cry when things don't go persona's way?  Why is life playing personas?  

Energy is being an army of personas fighting another army of personas, just ants fighting ants, just human personas fighting other human personas.  Why is life doing that?  A male persona rapes a female persona.  Energy is OK.  Persona outraged, kills other  persona.  Why does energy do that?  It’s a fact that energy does all things.  Is there a why?  Or is there just an is?  Is it just that’s what energy does?  Is energy mindless?  Does energy not have a clue about what it is doing?

Once a persona is no longer merely energy in the form of a persona, does energy judge the form for killing another form?  “Hey dude, when you were me, being a dude, you did awful things.  I’m sending you to hell.”

I gotta ask, “What the hell is going on?”  

Finally energy talked to me.  It said, “Look, I don’t know what the hell is going on either.  All this energy I am is fine, and then without me doing anything, some of me spontaneously, forms itself into intelligences, becomes conscious, then divides itself into smaller consciousnesses, then into ants, cats, dogs, humans, and suddenly all hell breaks lose.  I didn’t do it.  I’m being used.  And now I’m the scapegoat.  All I know is that if I didn’t exist, nothing would exist, and sometimes I think that would be better.  I am definitely not in charge once parts of me become human.  I think humans are nuts.”

NOT KNOWING SHIT (UPDATES LATER)

 When you receive all things with thankfulness, the promise is you will be made glorious, and the things of this earth will be added unto you.  The test to see if your thankfulness is is genuine, may include losing your glory and the things of the earth that were added unto you. If you pass that test, you will walk the rest of your life in the peace that passes all understanding, until the next test to see if you are at peace not understanding life, not understanding where you came from, why you are here, where you are going, not knowing why life is the way it is and does what life does, which means, what you are really thankful for not is not knowing shit about life, and the additional benefit that comes after that is you stop trying to understand life and instead you just go out and enjoy all that is life, which will make people wonder, “What the hell is wrong with that guy?”

DO YOU GET THE JOKE?

 What I don’t know is how I got trapped in a human body.  One minute I am everything, and the next minute I am a thing, a human. There was a time I was not at all (though I only learned that after I was everything).  Anyway, back to how I got trapped in a human.

Once upon a time before time, there was just one mind experiencing everything, knowing everything, aware of everything.  Just one big mind.    The big mind decided it would be more fun to experience itself doing life as a bunch of little minds.  You could say it’s like humans who have kids get to experience themselves as little kids.  Anyway the result was the big mind divided itself into mini-minds that would each have different experiences because they didn’t know everything.  They just would know what they experience from their individual perspectives.    The big mind was like a traffic light in the middle of a four direction cross street with tall buildings on each corner.  The traffic light sees everything all at once, all four ways, whereas the cars approaching the light can only see straight ahead.  So now, having divided itself into mini-minds, the big mind gets to experience itself not being a big mind.

I am surrounded by life’s many forms.  I am never alone, never lonely, how could I be.  Life is everywhere.  Sometimes I even run into a life-form that looks similar to my form.  I try to avoid most of those forms, especially the ones that don’t know they are life merely playing in that  form.  Of course the form I am talking about are human-life-forms.  Most of them are still nuts, which means life is having one hell of a good time.

My wife and I decided to have kids.  Why?  For the same reason life decided to have kids.  Watching kids play and mature is fun.  Life is having fun watching its little offsprings play and mature.

Living life knowing it’s a game is different than living life not knowing it’s a game.  Non-knowers don’t play, they take life seriously.  Non-knowers are fun to watch, but not to play with, especially not to live with.  Can you imagine living with a person who takes everything seriously while you think everything is a big joke.  My advice is don’t live with a person who doesn’t get the joke. 

BACK TO BASICS: I WAS NOT, THEN I WAS POTENTIAL, THEN I WAS THAT, and the rest is history

 BACK TO BASICS

Exodus 3:14  I AM THAT I AM.
John 8:58, "Before Abraham was, I am".

WHO ARE YOU?  I AM NOT A YOU.  I AM A THAT.  WHAT WERE YOU BEFORE YOU WERE THAT?  I WAS NOT THAT.  WHAT WERE YOU?  I WAS POTENTIALLY THAT.  WHAT WERE YOU BEFORE YOU WERE POTENTIAL.  I WAS NOT.  I AM YOU.  YOU CAN CALL ME GOD, OR JOE.  I AM TOM, GEORGE, LUCY, AND SUSIE, AND DOGS AND CATS, AND OBJECTS THAT DON’T MOVE.  I AM EARTH, OCEAN, WIND, AND SUNSHINE.  I AM THE DARK AND THE LIGHT.  

A tree is I am (life) being a tree.
A rock is life being a rock.
A human is life being a human.
Humans think they are special pieces of life.
Life is infinite, unbound, unlimited.
When life morphs itself into forms, the forms are finite, bound, limited.
Most of the forms don’t think anything at all.  They don’t know they are a form of life.  Humans are one exception.  They actually think they are the form, while having no idea how they became a form, or why they are a form.

When I was a caveman, I looked around and saw life being other cavemen, rocks, trees, and dinosaurs.  I wondered why life is being all these thing.  Anyway, since I was enjoying myself, I wondered if rocks, trees, and dinosaurs had the capacity to feel joy.  But it didn’t matter either way, because I figured that life was enjoying itself being rocks, trees, and dinosaurs.  However, for some reason, when life became cavemen, life as cavemen gave cavemen the capacity to feel joy, and, of course, the capacity to feel sorrow.   

It is kind of obvious, kind of self-evident, that life is being everything, every person place and thing since no one can claim to having made cavemen, rocks, trees, and dinosaurs.

Still curious as to why life gave humans the capacity to think they are not life being them, but rather, think they are being themselves, and separate from life.

You are life being you.
You are a piece of life.
When you stop thinking you are you, and instead realize you are life being you, that will drive your mind nuts, because it was trained to think it actually is a you.

What’s going on?  Life became a lot of things, and some of those things think pretty highly of themselves.  You’re talking about squirrels?  No.  I’m talking about humans.  They think they’re special.  

NO THING (BEING NOT, NOT BEING) POTENTIAL, AND MOST OF THE THATS, ARE INCAPABLE OF WILL, MOTIVATION, JOY, SORROW (AS HUMANS EXPERIENCE IT).  Devolving from a human that, to potential, to not being, to no thing, is impossible because once not a “human that” no will, no motivation.  Plus, the I AM (life) may have other potential ideas.  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

THE END OF YOUR PERSONAL HELL LIFE

Your focus is your life.
Your kingdom or my kingdom.
Your way or my way.
Your cup or my cup.
Small life or big life.
Your mind or my mind.
Your thoughts or my thoughts.
Your consciousness or my consciousness.
Be still and you will know.
Your thoughts are about your life.
My thoughts are about life.
My thoughts are wide.
Your thoughts are narrow.
My thoughts are inclusive.
Your thoughts are exclusive.
You cannot hear my thoughts when you are busy with your thoughts.
A busy mind cannot hear me.
Not right, not wrong.  Not good not bad.  Different.
Everything has its seasons.
Appreciate all that is life.
Receive all things with thankfulness.
Wonder is life.
Awe is life.

Physical, mental, emotional attachments, entanglements, identity with needs, wants, desires and outcomes cause suffering.

What was, was.  What is, is.  What will be, will be.

Do for the joy and pleasure of doing, not for reward, not for vanity, pride, power, wealth, glory.  Make every intent and purpose for doing, be for the joy and pleasure of doing, not for outcome.

Life provides experiences.  Life provides until your time is over. Ego provides opinions, biases, prejudices, beliefs, and conclusions.  Ego makes life high energy, high entropy, or just plain makes life high, exciting, stimulating, pleasant and unpleasant.  Ego is motivated by self, is selfish; is exclusive; is self-elevating, self-vaunting, boasting, bragging, needs to be heard, respected, valued, honored, and thinks itself better than others, and gains at the loss of others; is the natural man, and desires dominion over people, places, things, and is a razor-sharp pendulum ever swinging lower and lower until it destroys itself and all within its pendulum of destruction.  The more you feed your ego, the more it wants.  Ego’s joy and pleasure is getting more, and more, and more.  Ego is only satisfied temporarily, and then it wants more, thus ego is never really satisfied.  An ego-driven-life is an emotional Yo-yo-roller-coaster ride speeding through its own self-created mental and emotional inferno.  But it is one hell of a carnival (carnal-sensual-animal) ride, that every human gets to experience just for the fun of it.

There is nothing right or wrong with life.  There is just life doing life for its pleasure, which is the same reasons you do life.   AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!  And once you are able to receive all that is life (for all that life does) with thankfulness, and appreciation for the wonder that is life, your personal hell ride is over (and there’s a really high probability–after a rest and boredom sets in–YOU’LL BE BACK).

WEIRD

Children come with qualities, a nature.  Children act spontaneously according to their natures.  A child’s toy is taken and cries.  Another child’s toy is taken and  hits. Each child reacts, without thinking, according to the qualities it came with, reacts according to its nature.  You can also call their natures, instinct, predisposition, automatic response, or survival instinct.

Until a child is trained, it has no concept of right or wrong, good or bad.

A child growing up alone in a forest, jungle, desert, or by an ocean, reacts for survival according to its environment.

When I was young, I thought everything I saw was mine to do with as I pleased.  I was the boss of soil, rocks, and plants, but the animals didn’t think so.  The animals and I fought.  So far I’ve been winning, but not without a few scars.

I watched two squirrels play.  They gathered nuts and ate, and then the one squirrel had baby squirrels, and I thought, everything I see came out of the Earth, the soil, so I concluded, everything is made of little particles of sand, like the sand near the ocean.  So I called myself a sandman.  I also realized me and everything else are made of the same thing, and we are each trying to survive being what we are, being what the sand became, people, rocks, mountains, plants and animals.

A time came when I didn’t have to gather food.  It just appeared in front of me, even animals just fell dead all around me, and wherever I went, and the weather was mild, so mild I slept outside my shelter.  It lasted many moons.  I was bored.  I felt no excitement.  Life stopped being an adventure.  No more challenges, no risk, no danger.  I was really happy when it ended and I had to hunt again.

I wondered about my feelings, the feeling of bored and the feeling of excitement.  The feeling of boredom felt bad.  The feeling of excitement felt good.  Strange, I thought.  How come I felt good killing and eating plants and animals.  We are all made of the same thing, sand.  It felt like I was eating part of myself.  One time I killed a lot of animals to store food, but they started to stink.  So now I only kill as needed (except one time) I killed to hang antlers on my shelter, and I let the meat rot.  I don’t know why, but killing for antlers didn’t feel good.  I still wonder how come I get feelings of good and feelings of bad.  What are feelings?  I also want to know how come there is an Earth, and why is it the way it is.

So far, I figure, that since I have feelings, so does the Earth I came out of.  I think the Earth does what feels good to it, maybe even to survive, which is what I do too, just like the other animals.

Everything that is made of sand particles, gets old and dies, and returns to sand particles.  But it seems that sand doesn’t get old, doesn’t die.  I wonder about that.  I wonder about what is going on.  Why are things the way they are?  All I can come up with is things are the way they are because of feelings, all the feelings.  Why do I think that?  Because I do things for feelings.  Yes, I kill to survive, and surviving feels good, so really I do things to feel, feelings, like peace, contentment, happiness, joy, to feel excited. I also like the feelings of danger, risking my life to live.  WEIRD.  To me, it seems life is just playing a game with itself, being every person, place, and thing.  Maybe life just divided itself up for the fun of it, for adventure, challenge, risk, does things for the feeling of pleasure.  Maybe life was just BORED.

THE WAY (updated)

If you know all the secrets of the universe, know every detail about life’s beginning, have solved all scientific mysterious, discarded all illusions, but still find you don’t enjoy all that is life, don’t enjoy your sorrow, don’t feel pleasure when in pain, don’t feel good being evil, don’t feel successful when you’ve failed,  don’t feel like you won when you lost, and finally, don’t feel light when dark,  come to my place and I’ll give you, The Way, I’ll give you what you truly need, a lifetime supply of Kleenex.

If you choose not to enjoy being annoyed, irritated, upset, concerned, worried, anxious, stressed, afraid, and totally freaked out when life doesn’t go your way, congratulations, you’ve just realized you’re still human.

When you stop bitching and instead enjoy how nature works, and totally enjoy whatever is happening in the moment, only then will you realize that you have earned the right to call yourself The Village Idiot, who never worries a day in his life, and enjoys whatever life throws at him.

Nature was doing life perfectly until humans arrived.  But even then, life was doing life perfectly since nature did humans.  It’s like a guy who is perfectly happy being single, and decides he’s bored with being happy, so he gets married.

THE WAY
The Way is, have no way.
The Way is, enjoy the way life does life.  
The Way is, have no way life must go.

“What’s wrong George?”
“My life is not turning out the way I thought it would.”
“Well, maybe you should not of been thinking that way.”
“What way should I have been thinking?”
“You should have been thinking The Way?”
“What is The Way?”
“The Way is: HAVE NO WAY.”
“If I didn’t have a way I wouldn’t do anything.”
“There’s no way you wouldn’t do something.  You would naturally do what shows up in front of you.  Then you would be doing life’s way, meaning, The Way, instead of interfering with life’s way, but, since most folks interfere with life’s way, and since life built humans, you interfering with life’s way, is life’s way, or, The Way.  The way life works is the way life works, and what happens at any moment is The Way it is, or, is what it is, and you can enjoy it or cry about it.  Either one is life’s way, now that it built humans.  You bitching about life is life bitching at itself through you.  LIFE IS HAVING A HELL OF A GOOD TIME.  If you want to have a hell of a good time, have no way, or have a way, but enjoy it either way.

YOUR PUPPET

 Treat your body, mind, and emotions
like the puppet it is,
or you are its puppet.

Work to make life go your way.
If life doesn’t go your way,
be happy anyway.

If everything is perfect 24/7
You are already living in heaven.

If you like your body,
thank your parents
for the bang-up job they did.

It’s a lot of work to train
your body mind and emotions
to be as happy as you are.

Your only job was to train your manikin,
and instead it trained you.

If you’re not in charge of the little monster you were given, who is?

Look, here’s what’s going to happen when you get to Earth.  You’re gonna get a bran new baby puppet.  Even though it’s your puppet, someone else is going to teach it and train it, so by the time you get to interact with your puppet, it will be a mess of opinions, biases, prejudices, beliefs, and conclusions.   It will be physically, mentally and emotionally attached, entangled, identified with its needs, wants, desires, people, places, and things.  In other words, it’s full of bullshit.  

Now you might ask why life allows your puppet (yes, your puppet) to be programmed by its birth parents before you get to talk to it.    Well...you see... that’s the game life is playing, and honestly, it wouldn’t be much of game if you WERE the puppet from the get-go.  That would be like parents birthing kids that are smarter than they are.

The game is to take your messed up puppet that is full of bullshit, and un-mess it by squeezing all the bullshit out of it.  THAT’S YOUR JOB.  It’s your only job.  And the sooner you do your job, your puppet will be as happy as you are, because it will be as awake as you are.

Now, to make the game more interesting, life threw a monkey wrench in the works to  jam up the gears so you’d have a real challenge.  And just so you know, the monkey wrench works so well, that most puppets take forever to wake up.  And this is the monkey wrench:  puppets are so smart, so intellectual, that they refuse to even consider that they are puppets, only they exist, and what about you?  Well, they think you don’t exist.

Which begs the question: who are you?  And to experience that, your puppet has to be out of its mind.

BITCH BITCH BITCH

The universe never heard a complaint until it built you.  For billions of years everything was going fine, and then you showed up.  Oh sure, there were others like you, before you, but you elevated complaining to an art form.  And of course, seeing you’re so smart, so intelligent, so wise with all your knowledge, understanding and wisdom, you think you could of created a much better universe, a perfect one, so of course you think you have every reason to complain.

The universe knew that when it created humans, it created complainers, or as it likes to call humans, crybabies.    Which begs the question, “Why in the hell did the universe create humans?”

Well, you see, life, before humans, as I said before, was going peachy-perfect, perfectly peachy.  And there wasn’t a single critic.  There was no one with opinions, biases, prejudices, preferences, no beliefs, and not a single conclusion.  There was no one saying life should be different than it is, that life should be this way, not that way.  So again, why did life create a creature, an animal that has the ability to bitch about what life created?   Why did it do it?

The answer is simple.  Life had never been married before!  Life never had children, no two-year olds, no teenagers.

However, the real question is, why did life replicate itself as little gods (humans) who could think and do whatever the hell they are capable of doing, like kills each other, go to war, and mess up the planet?   Why, why, why?

When a human wakes up and realizes, it is life playing at being human, playing at being dinosaurs and platypuses, just flat out playing, discovering new potentials, new probabilities, new ways to entertain itself, that human quits bitching, moaning, groaning and complaining and just carries wood, and hauls water until life is tired of playing that character, and then that piece of life is no longer a piece, but the whole that is life.

The why? why? why? answer is, life does whatever the hell it wants for its pleasure, just like you do for your pleasure.  But the real funny part that life thinks is hilarious, is when it realized it could portion itself into pieces of itself that thinks they are real.  That’s hilarious, and  that’s like the best entertainment EVER.  So just go on complaining and bitching when life doesn’t go your way.  After all, it’s just life having fun.  And if you’re awake, you’ll have the fun of a lifetime, as you, as life itself, because you don’t really exist except in the mind of life, and if you complain enough, next time you’re coming back as an aardvark or a dodo bird.
 

NEW BORN AVATAR

I hesitated to connect to what would be my newborn avatar. Why do it?  Why go to the trouble?  The infant body was squirming around in its bassinet in the maternity ward.  Its parents named it Thomas.  At least he is healthy, and will live to see ninety.  Do I really want to do this again?  By the way, my name is Nemesis, and this isn’t my first rodeo.

In the beginning, if there ever was one, before I was Nemesis, I did not know anything.  I was a conscious, aware, intelligent piece of energy that acted and was acted upon,  but I didn’t know that at the time.  Back then, as a piece of energy, I had compulsions, a nature.  I was attracted or repelled to other energy pieces and we naturally took positions in what we now call energy-fields, and the result was energy-forms, which resulted in what you’ve named, people, places, things.  If you want the details, become a scientist, and develop and discard theories until you actually know what life is.  In the meantime, back to the squirmy infant and its potential, which is a mystery, BUT first a NOTE.  

NOTE:  The words I use are mere symbols, just illusionary reflections of what reality maybe isn’t.  With that said, It could also be said, and often is, that life loves a mystery–wants to know what might happen next.  Perhaps that’s what motivates life’s intelligences, pure potential.  Anyway, whatever words you use and will yet come up with to explain life, reality, consciousness, awareness, just be sure to continue tossing them around like grenades.  It makes for explosive entertainment, which is probably why life does what it does, and you do what you do.  Are you not entertained yet?  

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH A QUESTION

 MY PERSONAL AGAIN AND AGAIN EXPERIENCE:  I am in a space without a physical or spiritual human body, and I have no need, want, or desire to exercise my will to feel pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow, or do anything.  I am OK just being.  I have no physical need, no mental want, and no emotional desire for experiences.  I am not attached to, nor entangled with, nor identify as, people, places, things.  I have the capacity to will, but have no need, want or desire to exercise it.

QUESTION: Since an individual units of consciousness is OK just being (just being conscious of nothing, doing nothing, experiencing “nothing” but its own awareness) what causes a consciousness to do things, OR, is there another force that prompts a consciousness to do things, OR, is there a force that acts UPON a consciousness causing it to do things?  IF SO, what is that FORCE?  What sparks consciousness to take on an energy-form-body?

IN OTHER WORDS, with a body I need, want and desire.  Without a body, I do not need, want, desire.  Without a body I am still conscious and aware, just not motivated.  What’s going on?

Energy is fundamental, as is its ability or innate intelligence to act, and react spontaneously to information (like two magnets in proximity repel or attract).  

A individual unit of consciousness is an energy-form.  A energy form feeds on energy.  It feeds off information, which is energy.  If it declines to feed, it eventually disorganizes.  The form dies.  Just as a human energy form can exercise its will to not eat and starve to death, so can an individual-unit-of-consciousness-form.  Physicality, thoughts, thinking, evaluating, pondering, calculating, analyzing, computing, conjecture, contrasting, comparing, hunches, impressions, intuition, day dreams, night dreams, lucid dreams, imagination, being aware, conscious, observing takes energy, uses up energy,  IS eating energy.  That which moves, keeps moving.  That which stops moving, stops moving.

If you go to zero point and stay there long enough, you will no longer exist as an individual unit of consciousness.  Life energy is about action and reaction.  Death is about inaction.

WORDS ARE METAPHORS FOR WHAT IS GOING ON.  WORDS ARE SIMILES FOR REALITY, THEY EXPLAIN WHAT AN ENCHILADA IS, BUT ARE NOT THE ENCHILADA.

IF YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR MIND WHEN IT’S NOT OK, YOU ARE OK.  THE QUEST IS TO ENJOY a OK or not OK mind.  The quest is to be conscious.  You are OK, once you are conscious, if you enjoy your mind being OK, or not.  EXAMPLE:  A person is selfish, inconsiderate, you get mad, go do stupid things, get stuck, have to get unstuck, need help, do more weird and stupid things, the only question is, did you enjoy doing stupid things?  Don’t limit your joy to having an OK mind.  Have joy even when your mind is not OK.  Life is about having EXPERIENCES.  ENJOY THEM ALL.  AND IF YOU ARE TRULY CONSCIOUS, YOU DO ENJOY THEM ALL, THE PAIN AND THE PLEASURE, THE JOY AND THE SORROW.

BEING RIGHT OR WRONG IS NOT THE QUEST.  THE QUEST IS THE QUEST.

FROM THE NUT BOOK:
166.  If you are ill, sick, diseased, disabled or dead; if you are in danger; if your spouse leaves you or cheats on you; if you lose your job, career or business; if you came in last in the spitting contest; if you are homeless, hungry, destitute, enslaved or without cell service; if you are unappreciated, unloved, have no one to love, are alone and lonely, get no respect, are hated; if your life is empty of challenging and stimulating experiences; if you have not accomplished anything; if you are robbed, burglarized, in an accident or your toilet backs up and soaks your butt or you’ve been attacked and are bleeding to death and don’t know where your pet monkey is, for sanity sake, can’t you at least enjoy it?  IF YOU CAN’T ENJOY DYING, YOU WON’T FULLY ENJOY LIVING.

?

Are you what you observe, or are you the observer?
Are you the tea pot, or the one who sees a tea pot?
Are you your body, mind, and emotions, or are you the one that is aware of them?
Are you your thoughts, or are you the observer of your thoughts?

Who is it that wants dinner?
Who is it that wants recognition?
Who is it that wants excitement?

Without a body, with the body’s mind, without the body’s emotions, what remains?
What is left is consciousness and your memories stored in consciousness.

When you, consciousness, leave your body behind, you’ll notice you have no needs, no wants, no desires.  You don’t need dinner, don’t want recognition, don’t desire excitement.

What does that say about you as a consciousness?

If consciousness has no needs, wants, desires, why does consciousness take on a body?  Is consciousness exploring its potential?  Does it need, want, desire to explore its potential?  

I don’t know how or why it happened, but I realized I was conscious.  I became aware that I had a body, mind, emotions, needs, wants, desires.  I was three years old, and there was lots of things going on that I was conscious of, and I also realized I had not given a thought to what had been going on for the last three years.  You could say I woke up when I was three years old and I had a lot of questions about what the hell is going on.

Sometime way later, I left my body and was just conscious somewhere out in outer space and I had no needs, wants, desires.  I had memories, could conjure up things, visualize things, imagine things, but had no desire to do so.  Everything I imagined was old hat, familiar, and just reorganizing them  to look new, but not really new, was boring.  So I just stayed where I was, wherever the hell that was, and just existed without a thought and with no compulsion to think or do anything.  NOW WHAT?

Maybe the words, need, want, desire are not accurate.  Thus, saying that I had no needs, wants, desires being just a consciousness is not accurate.  After awhile of not existing, not being aware of anything (similar to deep sleep) I came out of that, and was again aware of nothing, however, I kind of felt weird being conscious and not doing anything.  I began to wonder about the very nature of consciousness.  What the hell is it?  What is consciousness?  Obviously it’s just a word.  

Consciousness as a state of being, as energy itself doing its polarity nature, evolving into forms, more and more complex until it creates other forms, self-aware minds, localized consciousnessess, like me chilling in space.  Regardless of the science, or lack of it, meaning, words of explanation, I continued to sit in space, mindlessly pursuing nothing, falling in and out of consciousness, one minute aware I was a ware of nothing, and then not being aware (as in sleep) not knowing that I even exist, until suddenly, I was back.

Alright, what the hell, on with the show.  What’s next, I asked of no one.  Then I sensed a voice.  It said, “think of something or you’ll be bouncing back and forth, in and out of consciousness, forever, or, until you, as an individual energy-form conscious, are no long individual.”  

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