STRANGE

 STRANGE

I woke up and realized I wasn’t there.  I saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing, smelled nothing, tasted nothing.  And yet, I was conscious and aware.

I woke up without words.  My mind had quit.  I saw the tree, but had no word for it.  I saw the sky, but had no label for it.  I saw the grass, but it defied description.  Not a word appeared in my mind...

I woke up.  I dragged my body out of bed.  My body’s mind was not working. I said to my mind, “Wake up!”  It didn’t.  It was silent. “Very strange,” I thought.  I scratched my head.  Scratching it felt good.  My body had to pee, so I walked it to the bathroom.  I felt relieved, but then my body just stood there like it didn’t know what to do.  “Come on,” I said.  It didn’t move. “What the hell?”  I thought.  I was aware my body was hungry.  Its stomach was grumbling.  I tried to drag it to the kitchen, but it wouldn’t budge.  “Fine!”  I said, and left it standing in the bathroom.  I wandered the house.  Realized I hadn’t done the dishes from last night.  “Well, so much for that,” I thought.  “Without my body, can’t do dishes.”  I went back to the bathroom and my body was still just standing there.  I thought, “I should return this body to Walmart.  It’s defective.  But how do I do that?”

I woke up.  I got up, but my body did not move.  It did not rise with me.  It was dead, a corpse.  Very strange indeed.  I wandered around.  No one could see me.  “What’s going on?  I asked myself.

I am alone.  Nothing depends on me.  Awesome.

I woke up.  Wife next to me.  Kids waking up. We have a lifestyle.  A house to keep.  Mouths to feed.  I have a job.  Things to do so our lives don’t fall apart.  A lot of ‘must, do’s.  Lots depends on me.  “What the hell did I do?”  I thought. “How did I get here?  Yesterday I cared.  Today I don’t, but I can’t leave them stranded.  My wife does what she has to for the kids.  The kids are doing kid things.  I’ve got to maintain, keep doing, keep going.  Fuck!”

So far, so good, I still wake up alive each morning.  “Still here, I see,” I say to myself.  “Still in in the game.  Still surround by my stuff.  Any moment my mind is going to start thinking it’s usual bullshit, “Gotta have coffee, then a smoke, oh, gotta pee, turn on computer, wonder what’s going to happen today, check the news, too early, not much on there yet, wonder what I’ll eat for dinner?  I’ll have sardines.  My mind said, “Hell you will?”  “Shut up!”  I said.  “You don’t always get your way.”

I woke up.  I could hear my wife’s thoughts.  She was waking up.  Her mind said, “Ah shit, another day in Paradise.  Gotta feed the kids.  It’s Saturday.  Joe will mow the lawn.  Ah, he’s already got a beer.  OK, so much for that.  Another day of bullshit.  How much longer?  Oh well, such is life. Well...the life I made.  Dumb ass.”  

Waking up is the most HILARIOUS thing you will ever do.  Your life becomes real when you wake up and realize it’s not real, but everyone you interact with thinks it is.  Fuckin’ hilarious. It’s the awesomeist experience EVER.  No more cares, no more worries, no more fears, just fun, fun, fun.