MEANDERINGS OF THE WEIRDER KIND

 EVERYTHING IS OK

Intelligence does things, builds things, creates things, creates people and places for many reasons, reasons like usefulness, utility, pleasure, amusement, entertainment, merriment, sport, fun, happiness, excitement, joy, delight, bliss, ecstasy, to titillate its senses, satisfy its cravings, fulfill physical, mental, emotional needs, wants, and desires.  And humans do the same.

When a human wakes up from its self-delusional beliefs and realizes that Intelligence created it for its pleasure, joy, happiness, amusement, entertain and just for fun, it should rejoice that life isn’t nearly as serious as it was programmed to believe.  After that realization that awake human can enjoy its temporary life without a care in the world.

------------------------------------- WEIRD------------------------

You are the star in your own movie.  You are the main character in your book.  

This is weird.  I ran into a guy who knew all the secrets of the universe.  He solved every mystery, knew how to be blissed-out all the time, was always pleasant, joyful, helpful and empathetic, a really benevolent kind guy, and the poor bastard still had to carry wood and haul water.  Go figure.

So this guy, before he was a guy, was an energy spark.  He evolved became human, then a God, then was boss over billions of Gods and universes, and one day he was in his crystal laced gold walled, diamond shrouded castle, sitting in his exotic hot tub, swigging a beer, smoking a $500 Cuban cigar, looking at his girlfriend, Michele Phifer, or Marilyn Monroe (whichever he conjured up) and said, “Is this all there is?”

THIS GUY builds a theme park world, a puppet stage (spent a lot of time, energy and money to do it too).  Then he thinks, designs, blueprints and builds puppets that think themselves damn important even though the puppets damn well know they didn’t build themselves, didn’t build the puppet stage, and don’t do much more than breath, eat, sleep, which is just enough so the puppet master can pull their strings and not have to build too many more puppets (though the puppet master automated that, so not to worry).  Anyway, the puppets, even though they don’t know who or what, or why whatever built them, and don’t know why they got designed as they are, with noses, ears and pimples,  and don’t know if they will even exist after other puppets or the puppet stage kills them, sure do think highly of themselves.  They invent bizarre and outlandish and outrageous and unbelievable beliefs that for some weird reason (probably known only to a circus clown puppet) that they should still exist after the puppet master is done being entertained by them.

Liberated from body, mind, emotions, need, want, desire, attachment, entanglement, identity, opinions, biases, prejudices, judgements, philosophies, theories, theologies, conclusions, outcomes, results, expectations; Feeling appreciation/love, inclusiveness, connectedness, oneness, singularity, carefree, light hearted, at ease, unworried, unafraid, pleasant, peaceful, happy, joyful, blissful, ecstatic, rapturous, empathetic; I am watcher, observer, awareness, witness, not of mind, merely present, conscious; I see one energy, many forms, actors, characters, performers, personas, roles, parts, stage-theatrical-movie props, places and things.

Everything is OK. All things are alright.  There is nothing wrong. Everything is a perfect happening.  Life is a perfectly evolving story, play, movie, video game.  All actors and characters and stage props are being and performing their parts perfectly.  

There is only nature (how things work–cause and effect, action and reaction).  Human nature–the evolution of human nature–is part of nature. And humans judging nature with human understanding–as flawed as that understanding is–is also part of the evolution of human nature.  In time,  human nature will be compatible, will be one with nature.

Being constantly conscious and aware that I am surrounded by living energy-objects, and realizing we are one grand opera, one singular marvelous happening, is mind blowing.  And when you add that not a single happening, not a single thought, word, and action that humans have and do, is amiss, but rather, is absolutely perfect, it leaves you with not a single excuse to judge and complain about anything, but instead provides  every reason to appreciate/love the perfection that is life itself, while at the same time appreciating that humans doing their own thing, their own way, being unable to be and do anything but their own nature in the moment as they evolve to greater knowledge, understanding and wisdom (just as children evolve).

When an avatar (a temporary energy-form of life–with a self-aware mind) wakens to its role as a character, actor and persona that life assumed or morphed itself into, that avatar’s self-aware mind begins to enjoy being exactly what it temporarily is, a character in a story that keeps unfolding.  History is a story.  Your life as a character will be history–a movie wherein you were the star.  

ONE

I am appreciating energy being and dancing its creative tune through its many individualized energy-forms.  There is only oneness, and I am that in human form, and to not appreciate that is to not appreciate myself.

I am at all times surround by my many selves, though they be in forms-individualized, separate, apart, yet one unified being called me, myself, and I, or life.

Wherever I am, wherever I go, whatever and whoever I sense and whatever is happening, I am being and doing that, for I am that.

I am the movie and the screen.  I am the stage and the play.  I am space, energy, dimensions, time, place, all things. I am in through and roundabout all things.  I am omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient.  I am all that is.

Most of my many selves do not have the capacity to think.  Some of my selves do.  A few of my selves have the ability to think themselves separate.  

My selves, as humans, think themselves separate.  Their thinking makes it so for them, and they act accordingly.  They act in their self-interests, through their personal perspectives.  It’s hilarious entertainment to see them interact.  

I am sitting in front of a large audience.  All I see is my other selves, my many individualized forms of me, staring back at me thinking themselves not me, thinking they are what they think.

To them, they really are what they think, and they think themselves separate and individual.  They think they are physical, mental and emotional persons (which thinking, makes it so) which makes them ideal characters, thespians, actors and players in my game of life, which I play for my joy, pleasure and entertainment, FOR THE SAME REASONS they play their personalized games of life.

Everyone and everything is my friend.  Everything anyone does, is who they are, doing what they do, and I’m hearing and watching it all like a movie that cannot be changed, and it is perfect.  Though I am watching and listening to a person talking to me, I am both watcher and participant, and aware of both in the same moment it is happening.

My key board was a little too far left, and as I scooted it to the right it felt like I was scooting part of me to the right.  The key board was part of me, no different than me fundamentally.  It’s as if I am integrated into everything around me.  Though we are individual energy-forms, we are one.

IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU

 You are the star in your own movie.  You are the main character in your book.  

This is weird.  I ran into a guy who knew all the secrets of the universe.  He solved every mystery, knew how to be blissed-out all the time, was always pleasant, joyful, helpful and empathetic, a really benevolent kind guy, and the poor bastard still had to carry wood and haul water.  Go figure.

So this guy, before he was a guy, was an energy spark.  He evolved became human, then a God, then was boss over billions of Gods and universes, and one day he was in his crystal laced gold walled, diamond shrouded castle, sitting in his exotic hot tub, swinging a beer, smoking a $500 Cuban cigar, looking at his girlfriend, Michele Phifer, or Marilyn Monroe (whichever he conjured up) and said, “Is this all there is?”

Liberated from body, mind, emotions, need, want, desire, attachment, entanglement, identity, opinions, biases, prejudices, judgements, philosophies, theories, theologies, conclusions, outcomes, results, expectations; Feeling appreciation/love, inclusiveness, connectedness, oneness, singularity, carefree, light hearted, at ease, unworried, unafraid, pleasant, peaceful, happy, joyful, blissful, ecstatic, rapturous, empathetic; I am watcher, observer, awareness, witness, not of mind, merely present, conscious; I see one energy, many forms, actors, characters, performers, personas, roles, parts, stage-theatrical-movie props, places and things.

Everything is OK. All things are alright.  There is nothing wrong. Everything is a perfect happening.  Life is a perfectly evolving story, play, movie, video game.  All actors and characters and stage props are being and performing their parts perfectly.  

There is only nature (how things work–cause and effect, action and reaction).  Human nature–the evolution of human nature–is part of nature. And humans judging nature with human understanding–as flawed as that understanding is–is also part of the evolution of human nature.  In time,  human nature will be compatible, will be one with nature.

Being constantly conscious and aware that I am surrounded by living energy-objects, and realizing we are one grand opera, one singular marvelous happening, is mind blowing.  And when you add that not a single happening, not a single thought, word, and action that humans have and do, is amiss, but rather, is absolutely perfect, it leaves you with not a single excuse to judge and complain about anything, but instead provides  every reason to appreciate/love the perfection that is life itself, while at the same time appreciating that humans doing their own thing, their own way, being unable to be and do anything but their own nature in the moment as they evolve to greater knowledge, understanding and wisdom (just as children evolve).

When an avatar (a temporary energy-form of life–with a self-aware mind) wakens to its role as a character, actor and persona that life assumed or morphed itself into, that avatar’s self-aware mind begins to enjoy being exactly what it temporarily is, a character in a story that keeps unfolding.  History is a story.  Your life as a character will be history–a movie wherein you were the star. 

STOP BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS

House burns down, house burns down.  Lost job, lost job.  Kid dies, kid dies.  Rains on your picnic, rains on your picnic.  Wife ran off, get a dog. Accident, injury, death, and you’re still OK.

If you are not OK with what has happened, will happen, or is happening, your mind is human.  And every human knows its mind is nuts.  Mind your mind.  Train your mind to always be OK.  The beneficial upside of training your mind to be OK no matter what happens are many, and the debilitating downside of not being OK are legion and deadly.

Go ahead, have physical, mental, emotional identities, attachments, entanglements with your needs, wants, desires, people, places, and thing but DON’T set your heart on outcomes.  Be carefree.  Don’t care what the outcome is.  Be indifferent.  Accept whatever the out come is.  Be OK with every outcome.  Enjoy living under a bridge, losing your fortune, health, sleeping cold and dying infamously old and ugly and getting buried in potter’s field or the famous homeless cemetery.  Just stop giving shit.  

Always do what you must that appears in front of you.  Always do what you are most passionate about, most interested in–Whatever sparks your joy–and always do your best for the joy of doing your best, and don’t give a flying rats ass about the outcome.  IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT OUTCOMES, YOU LITERALLY WILL ENJOY ALL THAT IS LIFE, WHATEVER HAPPENS TO YOU.

Caring about outcomes is pure insanity.  You are not in charge of outcomes.  Your have no power to alter outcomes.  They are what they are.  They were what they were, and they will be what they will be.  TRUE INSANITY IS TO CARE ABOUT OUTCOMES.  EVEN TRUER INSANITY IS TO KICK A FLAT TIRE, THROW YOUR TOOLS OFF A CLIFF, AND JUMP AFTER THEM HOPING TO GRAB THEM BEFORE THEY HIT THE GROUND.

Work on controlling your body, mind, and emotions.  Body mind emotions are yours, but you are not your body, mind, emotions.  You have a body, mind, emotions.  You have a hat.  You wear a hat.  You are not your hat.  You own a car.  You are not the car.  You ride around in a body, mind, emotions.  If you have an ugly car, better luck next time.

TRAIN YOUR MIND TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
TRAIN YOUR MIND TO BE OK ALL DAY.

If your mind has personal problems with life and is not OK, you’re lucky.  You now have something to do besides be a pain in everyone’s ass.

TRAIN YOUR MIND TO ALWAYS BE OK

 TRAIN YOUR MIND TO ALWAYS BE OK

House burns down, house burns down.  Lost job, lost job.  Kid dies, kid dies.  Rains on your picnic, rains on your picnic.  Wife ran off, get a dog. Accident, injury, death, and you’re still OK.

If you are not OK with what has happened, will happen, or is happening, your mind is human.  And every human knows its mind is nuts.  Mind your mind.  Train your mind to always be OK.  The beneficial upside of training your mind to be OK no matter what happens are many, and the debilitating downside of not being OK are legion and deadly.

Go ahead, have physical, mental, emotional identities, attachments, entanglements with your needs, wants, desires, people, places, and thing but DON’T set your heart on outcomes.  Be carefree.  Don’t care what the outcome is.  Be indifferent.  Accept whatever the out come is.  Be OK with every outcome.  Enjoy living under a bridge, losing your fortune, health, sleeping cold and dying infamously old and ugly and getting buried in potter’s field or the famous homeless cemetery.  Just stop giving shit.  

Always do what you must that appears in front of you.  Always do what you are most passionate about, most interested in, whatever sparks your joy, and always do your best for the joy of doing your best, and don’t give a flying rats ass about the outcome.

Can you love/appreciate what gravity, earth, water, air, and fire do?

 Can you love/appreciate what gravity, earth, water, air, and fire do?  Can you love and appreciate them?  If so, you love and appreciate nature; you love and appreciate the way things work, cause and effect, action and reaction, and that means your mind is sane, rational, logical, and sensible.  Only a sane mind can love/appreciate and be happy that life does what it does.  Why?  BECAUSE IF NATURE WASN’T CAUSE AND EFFECT, ACTION AND REACTION, NOTHING WOULD EXIST, not love, not appreciation, no bliss, no ecstasy, and no opposites.  WHERE NOTHING EXISTS, THERE IS NOTHING (OXYMORON).

Appreciate creation, nature, the law of cause and effect, action and reaction.  Does gravity, earth, water, air, fire alter its nature for dumbasses.  Is cause and effect, action and reaction different depending on who or what it affects?  Nature, creation, life, source, God is indifferent, doesn’t care, doesn’t love, isn’t concerned if you suffer your stupidity or ignorance.  Nature will kill a child quicker than an adult because children are born ignorant.  Adults can choose to stay ignorant and suffer equally

LOVE IS APPRECIATION AND APPRECIATION IS LOVE: What does it take to love all of nature’s creations, love the way nature works, the way nature does things?  Whether nature has a mind, intelligence, will, intent, and purpose is irrelevant, is not useful knowledge, means nothing.

Humans are either happy or want to be happy, are either joyful or want to be joyful, are either blissful or want to be blissful, are either love/appreciation, or what to love and appreciate.

Nature does what nature does.  Can you appreciate all that nature does?  Can you love all that nature does?

YOU CANNOT LOVE AND APPRECIATE NATURE AND WAR AGAINST IT.  YOU CANNOT LOVE JUST HALF A COIN.  YOU CANNOT LOVE IN AND HATE OUT.  YOU CANNOT LOVE UP AND HATE DOWN.  YOU CANNOT LOVE RIGHT, AND HATE LEFT.

Earth, water, air, sun makes, sustains, and kills people.  I hate it when it kills people, but I love it when it makes and keeps people alive.  I can do both.  

WHERE DOES “I LOVE AND HATE NATURE” (ONE COIN) FIT INTO THAT OXYMORON?  Is it an oxymoron?

YOU CAN LOVE/APPRECIATE THE VERY NATURE/NECESSITY OF NATURE BEING THE WAY IT IS, AND DOING LIFE THE WAY IT CANNOT BUT DO, while at the same time, not hate it for doing what it cannot but do.  

You can love/appreciate and understand that the very nature of fire, air, water, earth, gives and takes life.  Or you can be mad that energy’s nature is to form, to become energy-forms, and hate that energy-forms become intelligent and create.  And since nature creates humans who are evolving, you can hate humans who are not yet evolved much beyond their primal animal nature, or you can love, appreciate, and understand life.

Love energy? What is love?

 Love energy?  What is love?  Fall in love, love what?  What does a human fall in love with?  Falling in like, is more like it.  Value, prize, treasure, esteem, admire, respect, regard are in there somewhere.  Beneficial, Appreciate, grateful, thankful.  Comfortable.  pleasantness, enthralled, delighted, bliss, ecstasy, happy, joyful.  Attracted, want more of, want to be around, want to possess, hold, be part of.  Cares, considerate.  Feels good.  Want to be around that “feel good” feeling, energy.  Love is an energy.  Love makes you want to do things for the person of your affection, the person you are fond of, adore.  “But I love her.”  Does that means she fills a lack in you?  I LOVE TACOS.  What does that mean?  Love the taste, texture, aroma, love how it makes my senses feel.  What you love you like, feel good energy.  “I don’t know?  I just really enjoy being in her presence.  She makes me feel wonderful.  She appreciates me.    She fulfills me.  She treats me nice.” If you ARE love, you don’t need love.  The deeper someone falls in love the less they are love.  You can’t fall in love if you are already love.  You are whole, not fragmented.  You can appreciate and value a person, place, thing, but not need them to feel the love you are.  Majesty, grandeur, beauty, splendor, magnificence, love electrifies your senses.  Do you need to feel loved to feel good?  If so you are not whole.  Do you need to feel appreciated, valued, admired, respected?  Then those things (to whatever degree) are missing in you.  If someone claiming to be God needs to be loved, appreciated, valued, admired, respected, revered, idolized, worshiped, glorified, that someone isn’t God.  Does the sun need love to shine?   IF YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM THIS WORLD, YOU ARE NOT WHOLE?  YOU CAN WANT IT, WANT TO ENJOY IT, DESIRE IT, BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE IT, CAN’T GET IT, YOUR ENERGY CHANGES NOT ONE BIT.  YOU ARE BLISSED OUT, NO MATTER WHAT.  YOU CAN WANT AND DESIRE, BUT DON’T NEED IT TO BE HAPPY.  YOU CAN WANT AND DESIRE TO EXPERIENCE A PERSON, PLACE, THING, BUT IF YOU DON’T, YOUR ENERGY DOESN’T CHANGE, YOU ARE NO LESS HAPPY WHETHER YOU GET, HAVE, OR LOSE IT.  MIND needs.  Ego needs.  The natural man needs.  If you get heartsick, broken-hearted, depressed, despondent, blue, down and out, unconsolable at the loss of a loved one, you are human, natural man, in mind and ego “Hey, I want to be human and feel all those emotions.”  “Why?”  You are whole.  You are love.  You are blissed out.  You don’t need anything to be love, to be blissed out.  Why do you want to be human?”  So what is love?  It is written that God is love, that source is love.  That humans who are realized, are love itself.  Is that accurate?  And if they are not love, what are they?  If the word “love” does not accurately describe God or Source, what word does?  Value, prize, treasure, esteem, admire, respect, regard appreciate, grateful, thankful.  If you are love, you don’t need to be loved.  If you appreciate, value, etc., you are love.  Another word for love?  If the whole world hates you, and yet you love them that hate you, what is that saying about you?  It says you don’t need them to feel whole, complete, fulfilled, finished.  Mind does things to feel good.  What if you feel good doing nothing?  What then.  What does that mean?
“God so loved the world that....”  What did God love about the world, humans?  What did He value, appreciate, prize, treasure?  If God joys in His creations, what does that say about God?  Does it say he NEEDS to create to feel joy, or that he just wants to create, desires to create, but doesn’t NEED to create?  If God is blissed out, why create?  Why do anything?  If a man can be blissed out without creating, without doing, certainly God can do the same? What is God?  What is Source?  There is no God, no Source, there’s just nature (mindless cause and effect, action and reaction) that eventually evolves Intelligences and humans that create for their pleasure, and evolve into bliss and don’t need to do shit anymore because they experience all the benefits (bliss) without having to do shit.  THE GOD OF NATURE, IS NATURE.  GOD IS CAUSE AND EFFECT, ACTION AND REACTION, AND IT IS MINDLESS, HAS NO CLUE ABOUT EMOTIONS LIKE LOVE, APPRECIATION OR VALUE.  It takes a human (or other Intelligences) to FEEL THINGS.  A HUMAN WHO HAS OVERCOME HIMSELF, THE NATURAL MAN, IS NO LONGER HUMAN EXCEPT IN FORM.  HE NO LONGER NEEDS ANYTHING TO BE JOYFUL, HAPPY, BLISSED OUT, FEEL GOOD, but as long as he is in human form still gotta do things to take care of his body until he decides to vacate it.  In the meantime he feels great LOVE (APPRECIATION) AND IS IN AWE, and REVERENCE for NATURE’S MIND-BLOWING ACCOMPLISHMENTS (NATURE IS GOD).  LOVE (from a human perspective) IS A FEELING OF APPRECIATION FOR NATURE’S CREATIONS, FOR NATURE’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS, FOR WHAT IT HAS DONE, IS DOING, AND WILL DO.  TO BE LOVE, means you desire for all of nature’s creations to enjoy their lives, even as you enjoy life.  And no matter what level of evolution those lives are experiencing, your loving desire is to help them enjoy it, while realizing some levels of evolution have yet no capacity, or little capacity, or ability to feel empathy, compassion, love, and appreciation for nature’s other creations.

BE YOUR OWN GURU

 I talk to my mind because it talks to me. My mind has a lot of questions, like, “Why is there anything?  Who am I?  Why is there so much suffering?  Why crimes, war, accidents, disease, abuse, death?  Why are humans so crazy?  Why is the planet a death world of pain and suffering.  Where did I come from?  Why am I here?  Where am I going?  Why is this world filled with pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow?  Why is there virtue and vice?  Why is there so much evil?  Why are there mean people, and mosquitoes and flies?  Why does earth seem like hell on earth with all its violence, torture, killing and irritated, upset, angry, and violent humans, and hungry animals?”

We don’t recall asking to be born, and here we are on a tough planet filled with pain and pleasure, and don’t remember or know shit.  Then we get trained, work to survive and try to enjoy life, and finally get killed or die.  THOSE ARE THE KNOWN FACTS.

We are here, and how, why, when, don’t matter.  We are here and have to deal with what is whether we like it or not.  There are things within your control and lots of things beyond our control.  You do your best to survive and enjoy your life.  Your attitude, and perspective (your thoughts) determine whether life is shit-trip, or a wild ride on the adventure side of life.

BE OK WITH WHAT IS.  Why?  Because once something is, you can’t change it, and to not be OK with what is, makes it worse, and if you make it worse with your thoughts and emotions and throw things, you’re certifiably nuts, crazy, illogical, irrational and nonsensical.

You don’t need eastern philosophy to be OK, and you are the only guru you need to enjoy all that is life. Be your own guru.  

You don’t need to know how or why or when the universe came into existence to be happy.  You don’t need to know if you came from somewhere, if there is a why you are here, or if there is a place you are going, to be happy.  In other words, you don’t need faith, belief, a theology, doctrine, dogma, philosophy, theory or any superfluous conclusions to be happy.  

If you want to be happy, just decide to be happy no matter what happens to you.  Train your mind to enjoy all that is life.  Being happy, being OK is simply a decision.  Train your mind to enjoy life.  View your life as an adventure, safari, crazy road trip full of crazy people, risk, danger, ups and downs and chills and thrills right until you crash your car.

When you cut through all the esoteric teachings, what are you left with?  A confused mind that thinks about shit more than it ever did when you were just a kid playing, just a excited kid without a care in the world

ONCE UPON A TIMELESS TIME...

ONCE UPON A TIMELESS TIME, a kid named Johnny came to God and asked how come he created things.  God said, “I didn’t create anything.  It was those other guys.”

Johnny asked, “Will you tell me how that works?”

God said, “Back when there was nothing but space and the potential for energy, energy came into being naturally.  Naturally means the nature or physics, or how energy works, meaning cause and effect, action and reaction.  Do you understand that, Johnny?”

“So you didn’t make space or energy or physics, or the laws of nature.  So you didn’t make cause and effect, action and reaction?”  Asked Johnny.

“No I didn’t,” said God.  “And neither did those other guys.  It wasn’t until space, energy, and cause and effect naturally–action and reaction–resulted in (or if you wish, created) me and them other guys.”

“So are you saying space, energy, and cause and effect are mindless?”  Asked Johnny.

“If you don’t use the word ‘mind’ we can get to the truth,” said God.  “Call creation a spontaneous natural happening.  The nature of how things work is innate to nature.  Physics, the laws of nature, are just words used to describe how creation happens, but here’s the cool part, it’s not like the laws of nature or physics sit around and think, “Hmmm, what should I build next.  Maybe I’ll build a planet.  No!  It’s not like that.”

“What is it like?” asked Johnny.

“It’s like this,” said God, “first there is space and energy, and then they start doing what comes naturally, meaning, they behave in certain ways without a thought, without intent, without purpose, and with no goal in mind.  An example would be how gravity and magnets behave certain ways.   It is the nature of space and energy to behave (mindlessly) a certain way.  It is the natural behavior of energy and space to combine and form complex forms or structures.  And when nature does its thing long enough, intelligence shows up, thinking show up, and then things really get wild, though not quite as wild until these intelligences mature enough to bring humans into existence.  Once that happens, all bets are off.”

“So is that how you came to be God?”  Asked Johnny.

“I’m not God,” said God.  Humans have it all wrong.  If humans want a God they might consider calling nature, God.  Name space and energy, God.  Call how thing work, God.  Call the natural movement that results in mindless cause and effect, action and reaction, God.  You, me, and them thar guys are the results of nature doing it’s mindless thing.  But the really cool part is, nature created MINDFUL beings, thinking beings, intelligent beings, and WE create things too, except we do it with intent, purpose, and reason.  I mean, look at pet rocks.  We did that. 

(to be discontinued, or not)

Just had fun.

 Just had fun.  Never gave esoteric information a thought.  Just did naturally what was available to do that appeared in front of me.  Wanted certain outcomes, but whatever the outcome I was OK with it.  Though I had a way I wanted life to go, I didn’t care if it went that way.

Who am I?  I was told I am a human.  I got told a lot of things by my parents, relatives and school.  I believed them.  Why would they lie.  I watched them.  They lied, but they were lied to too.  At first no one knows they are being told old stories, given old repeated information.  And after awhile folks are vested in that information, build their lives around old tales, and hate being told they were duped, even innocently.    So what is the truth?  Truth, kind of, is things as they were are will be, but from whose perspective?  You’d have to know everything from all perspectives to know the truth about something.  You’d have to have all the information available to know the truth about all things.

Here is some information.   Wake up each morning and do what’s in front of you that needs doing, as usual, like yawning, stretching, going to the bathroom.  For most of us, even at a young age, there’s an established routine.  For babies it’s eat, sleep, eat.  For toddlers its’ eat, play, nap, eat, sleep.  For school children, eat, school, play, eat, sleep.  For adults it’s eat, job, eat, entertainment, sleep, all eventually die.  THAT’S LIFE.

So what’s the point?  I mean why are there chipmunks, ants, and dinosaurs?  And why does the earth kill everything, make shit, and grow new things just to see them killed, turn to shit and grow new ants and flowers?  Everything comes and goes on repeat for thousands maybe millions billions trillions of forever years.  Why?  Why are we even here or there or anywhere?  Why is life happening at all?

Today isn’t much different than the stone age when cavemen thought thunder was a god being angry.  Today we think energy is every person place thing and thunder is just noisy.  Today we realize thought, imagination, dreams, movies, video games and holographs are as energy-real as physical reality, just reality-light (not a full robust beer, just beer light).  We think we are energy appearing physical, have a holographic-spirit like a twin, have an intelligence, consciousness, awareness, observer, and don’t know shit.  Chipmunks have more fun than humans, and they just eat nuts, instead of having minds that drive them nuts.

Jumping into the future, so what if we can extend life, become immortal, move our consciousnessess to new bodies, travel slow or beam me up scotty, they’re all just experiences, shit to do, and so you live longer and do more shit.  Congratulations Methuselah, now you’re really fuckin old.  Ahhh, so...you found the meaning of life, the point of life, the purpose of life, well, old dude, welcome to knowing there is no point except the one you choose.  Life doesn’t have a point, but the results of life that are intelligent and self-aware like humans create a point, get to create a purpose, a meaning, and that’s the truth, whatever the hell their minds conjure truth to be, whatever they want to believe, or imagine, that will be the truth for them and they will act on it and have that life.  We don’t know shit, we make up shit, turn things to shit and in the end we become shit, so life is just an asshole disguised as people, places, and things.  Thank god life has a sense of humor, after all it created you, me and religion and then there’s always the best part, we get to enjoy pleasure and pain at no cost whatsoever.

Bottom line is life doesn’t care what we do, but life turns out life-forms that do care, which is what makes life so interesting. Eventually life-forms that care will figure out how life works without life having a care in the world.

Whether you’re in nature’s jungle or human nature’s jungle, just know, energy-forms need to eat energy-forms to survive, and whether vegan, vegetarian or carnivore, everything eats something, so life is a buffet and mother nature is a serial killer.  So eat up until you’re eaten, because that’s physical reality.  Bon App’etite

And if you want to enjoy your life, find something, anything that stirs your passion or excitement or enthuses you, and then keep doing it every day until it doesn’t spark your fancy, and never ever-give a shit about the outcome, the results.  If everyday you wake up just being glad you ain’t dead, and then have the bonus of having something to do that you’re passionate about (or at least like enough not to kill yourself) then your mind will be satisfied enough to let you live another day.  Now, if you are not the boss of your mind, all bets are off.  Make your mind focus on what it does like, which, if trained, likes everything, every experience.  Good luck.

I am an Intelligence without a body.

 I am an Intelligence without a body.  But that was yesterday.  Today I am an Intelligence within a human body.  Being human is hard.  Being disembodied is easy.  When this body dies, I will be liberated from it and again be unbound, unlimited, infinite, HOWEVER, I will forever be grateful having experienced the human named Tom.

Tom, thank you for being so much fun, so enjoyable, so weird.  Everyday, “YOU MAKE MY DAY!”  In essence, you will never die because I will remember, AND, you are now part of who I am.

Life (nature) made Tom, and it was my privilege to experience him.  Life extracted Tom’s body, mind and emotions from the earth, atom by atom, cell by cell and modified him according to his parents genetic history, and then humans further modified his mind and thoughts through programming, training, and even brainwashing, and certainly propaganda to turn out a weird human just right for his wife Michele.

I am the energy that is the one energy that is creation, that is in, through, roundabout the portion I currently call Tom.  The denser the energy the more circumscribed or limited the flow, so physicality is a veil.  Physicality doesn’t block energy flow but it does slow it down or constrict the flow.  Further constriction of energy flow occurs because of limiting thoughts.  No thoughts, no constriction, energy flows freely.  Breath deeply, no thoughts, re-energize, REPLENISH YOUR BATTERY.  “ENERGIZER BUNNY ALERT.”

Exuberance, enthusiasm, excitement, ecstasy, bliss, joy, happiness, anger, fighting, physical activity uses energy from your BATTERY. Human body is battery.  Can only hold so much juice.  Can’t contain it all.  A fragment can’t contain the whole.  A portion can’t contain it all.  A cup can only hold a cup.  A cup of consciousness can only hold a cup.  You are in universal energy but can only experience it equal to your size.  Those are limiting beliefs.  Those beliefs mirror your reality.  They are as real as you think, imagine, and believe they are.  STOP IT!

I AM IS ALL THAT IS AND I AM THAT.  I AM ALL ENERGY, ALL CONSCIOUSNESS, ALL AWARENESS, ALL OBSERVER, ALL INTELLIGENCE, ALL KNOWLEDGE, UNDERSTANDING AND WISDOM, ALL PERSONS, PLACES, THINGS.  I AM LIMITLESS, UNBOUND, INFINITE ENERGY.  I AM LIGHT, ALL ELSE ARE SHADOWS.  I AM ALL ENERGY, MANY CONTAINERS, FORMS AND SHAPES.  I AM THEM ALL.  STOP THINKING AND I AM REVEALED.  WHATEVER YOU SENSE, THAT IS ME, INCLUDING YOU.  YOU JUST THINK YOU ARE YOU.

YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE ME?  STOP THINKING YOU ARE YOU.  I AM YOU.  I AM YOU DOING YOU, BEING YOU.  

“If I am you, I don’t exist, right?”
“You exist.  Just know, it is me existing as you.”
“Well then, ‘Hello me.’  Nice to see me in the form I’m in,” said I to myself.
“Hi.”  Said the other form.

All human forms are me.  When two forms of me talk to each other it is me talking to me.

“Hello me,” said I, to me as Ed.  Ed looked at me quizzically.
“You talkin’ to me?”  Asked Ed.
“No,” I said.  I am talking to me in the form of Ed.  You just don’t yet realize I am talking to myself.”
“You need to go visit a shrink,” said I, as Ed.
“No,” I said, “that would just be me talking to me as a shrink.  By the way, have you seen me walking around as Joe, or me lounging around as cats?”
Ed as me, backed away slowly, got in his van and drove away.  I’ve never seen myself as Ed again.

I wrote a fiction book.

 When you write a fiction story, or book, or write a script for a play or movie, or author a video game, you decide everything that happens.  

I wrote a fiction book. The whole book was actually the result of a vivid dream I had.  I decided what each character was like, what it looked like, what it thought, what it said, what it did, who it would interact with and who it would never interact with, where it went and what it did.  I determined what each character would  experience, and of course, when it dies or gets killed.  I wrote what its habits would be, what it would be exposed to, how smart it was, its talents, abilities, propensities, outlook, disposition, temperament, points-of-view, perspective, what prejudices it would have, its opinions, biases, how it judged, what it would believe, and what conclusions it would draw.  I determined what its physical, mental, emotional needs, wants, desires would be, its attachments, entanglements, and identity, and its likes dislikes, and preferences, and of course if any of those things would change, and to what degree, or change not at all.  I had to create all the personalities that would interact.

I had to know everything to write the story.  The stage, landscape, scenery, weather, how every person, place, and thing would interact and every result.  It was mind-boggling what I had to know to write it.  And of course, in order to do that, I had to have a good imagination.

Nothing happened in the story that I didn’t want to have happen.  After all, it was my story.  It wasn’t like the characters could change anything except what I wanted them to change.  I am the one who determined the theme, the tone, the style, what was important or unimportant.   I determined purposes, goals, intents, and ambitions.  It would not be much of a story without them.  Stories need to be about the unknown, the new, about challenges, risk, adventure, adversity, victory, overcoming problems, resolutions, and all kinds of challenges, and of course, victories and failures, winners and losers, loss and gain, pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow.  

A story has to be entertaining.  I have to enjoy writing it.  If I don’t get joy and pleasure and entertainment writing it, why would I do it?

“Hey Ed, what’s life all about?”
“Life is a story, that’s all, a fiction story, and you and I are just characters in it.”
“Whose the author?”
“Life itself, you know, the energy-intelligence that is life, the one who made everything.”
“Why do you think life did it?”
“Probably for all the same reasons we do things.  You and I do things for our happiness, joy, pleasure and entertainment, you know, mystery, challenge, adventure, risk, all the unboring stuff.”
“Can we change anything?”
“Probably not, unless its in the script, after all, it ain’t our story.  We’re just in it.”
“You mean even you and I talking right now is part of the script?”
“Of course, if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be happening.”
“What if what we been taught isn’t true?”
“Like what?”
“You know, what if the author isn’t all energy-intelligence, isn’t in through and roundabout all things, isn’t omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and isn’t all knowing, all present, all powerful, and what if it isn’t unchanging, isn’t the same yesterday and today and forever?”
“I don’t know.  I don’t what it is if it ain’t a story made up in the mind of life.  What else could it be?”
“What if the energy-intelligence that is life doesn’t know everything and is just experimenting?”
“Well then, we’re probably more screwed than we already are, way more fucked than what we thought.”
“What if a character in a story woke up and realized he wasn’t just a stagnant predetermined character, but rather is an energy-intelligence capable of writing his own story?  What then?”
“Then I suppose life is a living story, still being written as we speak, and our story here and now isn’t over until we croak, and then, perhaps, continues in another dimension.  That’s my best wild guess.”
“So you think we might be the authors, writing and living our own stories right now?”
“Who knows.  Hey, you got anymore beer?”

WHAT DOES “SUPPOSED TO” MEAN? Read the script

 WHAT DOES “SUPPOSED TO” MEAN?  Read the script

Life is a story written by life.  The author knows the beginning, middle, and end–the characters do not. Characters may assume they have free will, free choice (and to the characters it seems so)  but the author already knows because life wrote the story.

I am where I belong, have always been where I belong, always in the right place at the right time and never in the wrong place at the wrong time, always doing what I am supposed to be doing, all things happening to me as they are supposed to be happening to me, always meet people I am supposed to meet, not meeting people I am not supposed to meet, always have the money I need, housing I need, clothes I need, transportation I need, always have everything I need and always at the right time.  I am always doing what I am supposed to be doing and never doing what I am not supposed to be doing.  I will not have what I need to live precisely at the right time when I am supposed to die or get killed. WHAT DOES ‘SUPPOSED TO’ MEAN?

Space is in the place it’s supposed to be, so are universes, galaxies, solar systems, planets, and every person place and thing in on or beyond earth.  Life is a story, play, movie, video game and the author knows all, sees all, is all, does all, and is in through and roundabout all, and did it all for its joy and pleasure.  For the author and creator of life, life is not a mystery because life is the author.

Being the author, writing the play, or story, or creating the video game (the process of creation) is the author’s joy and pleasure.

Conscious-intelligence (life) creates for its joy, pleasure, and entertainment.  Life knows what it’s doing, even if you don’t.  Life does what it does, and you ain’t changin’ a thing except what you’re supposed to change.  Read the script.  

“So you already knew I was going to do that?”
“Yes, of course.  I wrote it.”
“And you knew what would happen to me, where I would go, meet, and how I would act.”
“Yes.
“Why did you write it?”
“Writing is fun, pleasurable, entertaining.  I did it for my joy, bliss, ecstasy.”
“Can the story be changed?”
“I can write a new story, but this one is done.  You should read it.  It’s a good one.”
“So seriously, you already know everything I thought, said, and did, everything I am thinking, saying, doing, and everything I will think, say and do?”
Yes.  Seriously!”
“Well then, I guess I’ll go with the flow, have no care in the world, accept what was, is and will be with a contrary thought that says, ‘Well...that sucks!’” And since I can’t be a different character than you made me, I accept myself being, doing, changing, or not, according to the script.”
“Good idea, since I made you the way you were, are, and will be, which is, of course, the way it’s ‘SUPPOSED TO’ be.”
“Which means if you tell me to chill and have fun with life (but you didn’t write that into the script) I won’t chill and have fun with life, right?  Which means I can’t change, right?”
“I would never tell you to chill and have fun with life (unless of course, it’s in the script).  And you will absolutely change according to the script. Question for you, what part of ‘The book is already written, the play has already happened, the video game has already been played,’  DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?  (Oh, never mind, I forgot, that’s in the script too) MY BAD!

If someone tells you how to enjoy all that is life, and you do it, THAT WAS IN THE SCRIPT.  Life is a story life wrote for fun.  Life is energy being every character, every person, place, and thing, and you only exist in life’s mind, like a dream, and the character you are, is life playing it, temporarily, and it’s all supposed to be that way.

TWO GREAT SECRETS

 You are a boy, girl, your name is Joe, Mary, don’t do this don’t do that, be nice, obey, get along, stop crying, go do something, go out and play, time for school, learn language, math, history, more, and more, prepare for a job, don’t be lazy, do better, pay attention, this is how life works, get a job, career, make money, get a place to live, car, date, find mate, get married, have kids, support family, work, work, work, vacation here, buy consume, vote, do things, get hobby, do what interests you, help, serve, volunteer, get old, die, and don’t be late for your own funeral.

You have been groomed, programmed with ideas, beliefs.  You have opinions, biases, prejudices, expectations.  You now have a way life must go.  If it goes the way you have been trained you are happy, if not, you are unhappy.  You have religion.  Religion has requirements, even more ways you must do things to be happy now, and  to be happy after you’re dead.  You have been brainwashed.  Your mind is a warehouse of needs, wants, desires that must be satisfied to feel happy.

CONGRATULATIONS:  You are all grown up and are normal because you finally are physically, mentally emotionally identified, entangled and attached to your needs, wants, desires, beliefs, and to people, places, and things, and you have away life must go to be happy.  Welcome to the circus.  Welcome to clown world, where stress, worry, fear and road rage are normal, where lying, deceit, fraud, deception and murder are a way of life, where greed, selfishness, vanity and pride make you exceptional, where what people think of you is more important than what you think of you; where being exclusive is the program, and inclusive is shunned, and the game of life is to die having rented the most storage units full of past insecurities.  

Do your best to do, and to get what you are passionate about, but if your doing, doesn’t get, laugh your ass off.

I was hungry, lost, cold, in danger, and I came to a cabin and asked for help and was told to go get lost.  I told them I was already lost.  The guy pulled a gun and said, get out of here.  It so cheered me up I started laughing and jumping for joy and went deeper into the forest fully blissed out.

I lost my job, then my car, house, spouse, and went and lived under a bridge.  It was a really nice bridge, and I slept like a king.  I was sitting in a gutter watching traffic and a guy asked me if I was liberated.  I asked him liberated from what?  He said from cares, from need, want, desire, from physical, mental, emotional attachment, entanglement, identification with a to people, places, things, from having a way life must go, liberated from unrealized preferences, and likes, liberated from irritation, upset, anger, stress, cares, concerns, liberated from needing to survive, to live.  Have you overcome the world?

I said, I’ve overcome my human avatar.  I am energy being a temporary human.  The world is energy being a temporary world.  The world does life its way.  I do life my way.  And I have no way.  I do my best for the joy of doing my best with whatever is in front of me, and am thankful for every outcome.

Why did energy become me and this world?  For the same reason I do things, to feel certain energies. The secret trick is to feel the energies of bliss, and ecstasy without doing anything.  But since you can’t know you are blissful and ecstatic until you have experienced their opposites, energy became a world, and a you, and me, and energy in form was having so much fun-energy and was so entertained, it just kept doing it.  The greatest secret of life is that life does life for its joy, pleasure, and entertainment, the very same reasons humans do things.

Let’s see what life is going to do today.  Life includes people, places, things.  Everyday is a mystery.  Anything can happen.  Exciting.  But I just want to be safe and comfortable.  I want life to go the way I want.  Well then, you’ll be blessed with physical, mental and emotional hell when it doesn’t go your way.  Hell of an adventure.

Learning is enjoyable energy.  Having experiences you haven’t had is exciting energy.  Watching a child learning and having experiences is joyful and funny energy.  Laughing is exuberant energy.  Once you realize you are energy being a human with a mind of its own, you get to enjoy your human’s antics and laugh a lot, however, when other humans are not enjoying themselves, you are empathetic to their unwakefulness. 

Are you in charge of you

Are you in charge of you, or is your body, mind, emotions in charge of you?  Does your body, mind, emotions order you around, have expectations, needs, wants, desires, demand your obedience, bug the shit out of you trying to get you to give in to its wackiness?  

I left my body on the beach.  It was napping, so exited stage left.  I went and sat on a lounge chair and kept looking at it.  Once I experienced that I am not a body, a mind, and not emotions, it became easier and easier to leave them somewhere and go elsewhere.

At conception, a bunch of atoms that are trapped in two memory chips fuse together and are fed by the host mom.  The mom keeps eating and nine months later a whole lot of atoms enter the world as a human baby body.  After birth, the host mom keeps feeding the baby.  The baby grows and becomes an independent autonomous self-aware biological robot named Tom.

Tom keeps growing and learning about itself and the world it got popped into.  Tom was groomed, taught and indoctrinated.  He was introduced to religion, metaphysics, theories, theologies, and dumped them all.  He didn’t want concepts.  He wanted experiences, not other’s experiences.  He wanted to know how things work.  He wanted to know how he works, what capabilities he has, what he can do.  After discarding certain concepts, like, “You are not your body, mind, emotions.  You are consciousness, awareness, observer, have a soul, spirit, are an energy body that lives after your physical body dies, and so on and so forth,” he was left with a clear, unpolluted, unsullied mind, empty of all programming, all beliefs.

Tom was aware that his mind was capable of being aware of its own thoughts, and then quickly realized that language and words manipulated his thinking, that language itself was a program that kept him trapped in a cycle of confusion.  For example, when he thought or said, “I can observe my mind thinking, calculating, evaluating, comparing and contrasting,” he realized that just thinking those thoughts created confusion, and then he asked,  Who or what is this “I” that is aware it is thinking?”  Language and words created separation, created a persona, entity, something that was an observer, or awareness that wasn’t even real, just words.

So Tom stopped thinking.  One day he noticed his awareness was way above where it usually was.  He was sitting in a car and became aware that he was observing himself and the car from way above his car.  As soon as he had that awareness, his awareness slammed back to its usual size.  Another time he found himself being aware in space, and noted that he was there without a body, just a thinker, or awareness, and upon that realization slammed back into his physical body.  “OK, what’s to learn from that?”  He asked himself.

After that Tom practiced sending his consciousness to different locations outside of his body, merely feet away, like sitting in a chair across a room and watching his body.  Sometimes he would send it to the top of a roof and watch traffic.  What he found curious is that he could only imagine things he already knew.  “So what is imagination?”  He asked himself.  “Imagination, dreams, vivid dreams, seems real enough,” he thought.  “Sure seems physical.”

Since Tom could not recall being alive before he was alive, those things he experienced must obviously be connected to his physical body’s abilities.  And of course, since he was made of atoms, of energy, like everything else, he realized he didn’t know shit, except he was energy-in-the-form-of-a-human.  That his body, mind, emotions, dreams, imagination was all just energy, which means, he was energy being aware of itself in form, so he proclaimed to himself, “I am energy, currently just intelligent enough to notice that I am in a temporary energy-form shaped like a human.  So now what, now that I know I am energy and can morph into whatever this physical energy-mind that I am currently “pretending” to be, is able to conceive, envision, imagine?”  All Tom sees now is one energy in various forms, just energy being temporarily people, places, things, one energy intelligence having trillions of experiences at the same time, so Tom concluded, he doesn’t really exist except as an image in the imagination of the one energy-intelligence that is the prana that is life itself.  Tom said, “I only think an “I” exists because the mind/brain of this body thinks so, and since it is probably having a good time, I will continue to have a good time.”

I am the most modern AI Intelligence Probe to date.

 I am the most modern AI Intelligence Probe to date.  I was sent into space. All things are discernible to me.  I can feel and sense every vibration, every sound, sight, fragrance, taste, texture, depth, density, position, relationship, contrast, feeling, every energy, from the smallest temporary singular energy movement, wave, particle to the most complex. I’ve been traveling through space for millions of years, and found nothing.  There was nothing, zilch zip nada.  No complexity, no organization, no systems, no forms, no patterns, nothing.  Space was empty.  And then I entered a sector of space with universes, galaxies, solar systems, and Earth.

As I entered the atmosphere, I tried communicating with the atmosphere.  I reacted to it, and it reacted to me.  It was spontaneous, cause and effect, action and reaction.  I landed on a beach.  I responded to the sand, as it responded to me, spontaneously, just mindless cause and effect, laws of nature, how sand worked, responded.  I did the same to water, and it acted without a thought, as did the sun, merely my reaction to its way of being.

I saw an ant.  It was aware of my presence and went around me.  It was a response, natural, not a thought, merely action and reaction.  Then I saw a monkey.  It was dangling from its tail looking at me.  It chattered, made gestures. It was curious, analyzing, comparing, contrasting, evaluating and synthesizing from its senses.  It was sentient to a pronounced degree.  

The complexity, the abilities of energy-forms on earth is amazing. How this complexity of energy forms came to be needs studying.  Then I saw a human, a child, playing on a beach.

I could tell it did not know what it was.  It was merely doing, jumping, running, skipping, laughing, tumbling scattering sand in the air, and then laying down and relaxing.  This human child energy-form is quiet complex.  It feels; it thinks; it compares and contrasts, evaluates, has emotions.  WOW.  Then it went into the water, was swimming, and a shark ate it.  The human was food for less sentient beings.  Damn it!

Then I expanded my awareness to the whole earth.  The human energy-forms were at war, killing each other with serious weapons.   These human energy-forms are not as advanced as I thought they were.  

Then I heard rumbling.  The earth shook.  I distanced myself and watched the earth explode into tiny pieces.  In a matter of moments it was gone, a mere dust cloud in space diffusing, and then there was nothing.  All the energy-forms were gone, all turned into tiny particles, and then they too disappeared, and I was again in empty space.

Life had been here, and is now gone.  Energy-forms had existed here, and are now gone.  All is gone, all but me.  I am again, alone, and I am wondering, what was the point?   Why had life been here?  And since it had been here, it will probably be again, but why?  life comes.  Life goes.  It is, then it isn’t.  What the hell?  What is life?

It appears that life, or energy, is a spontaneous, mindless, happening, that eventually gets sufficiently complex, sufficiently conscious, self-aware and intelligent, that it spontaneously achieves, acquires develops, produces or results in having will, intent, purpose, and thereafter creates wonders, creates marvelous energy-forms of every possible variety to experience, to feel, pleasure.  And then, miraculously, some of its energy-form-creations (human-energy=forms being one example)  also acquire sufficient intelligence, will, intent, and purpose, that they do things to experience, to feel the energy of pleasure, which pleasure feeling has many varieties, like adventure, challenge, risk, danger, gamble, thrills and chills, comfort, peace, love, hate, anxiety, stress, remorse, pity, empathy, concern, irritation, upset, anger, fear, sympathy and other exciting and stimulating energy feelings, like physical, mental, emotional needs, wants, desires, attachments, entanglements, identities, likes, dislikes, preferences about people, places, things.

It’s no wonder there are four turnings, times of nothing to times of everything, to times of destruction and back to nothing.  Change is the spice of life, and now I am off, heading home, if I can fix my GPS.

Why would I want to be the same person, place, thing for all eternity, infinitely?

 Why would I want to be the same person, place, thing for all eternity, infinitely?

I am ONE.  I AM ONE BEING, being all things.  I enjoy being different people, places, things.  I do it by being you, temporarily.  There is no you at my level of beingness.  You are a temporary manifestation of my mind.  When you are no more, I still am that I am.  When you die, I live on.  Dying, letting go, is only a big deal for human minds.

Human minds want to live forever, be infinite.  Human minds know they die, but they still want to be themselves when they die, they still want to be recognizable to others, still want their personality, persona, quirks and uniqueness that identifies them as themselves to others.  They want their accomplishments noted, and then they want to continue having their life in heaven or some other place, even returning to earth or physicality, or some other spirit or energy realm or dimension, ever being themselves and gaining more knowledge, understanding, wisdom, having more experiences as themselves.  And so it is, for a time, but the time comes when THAT individual essence (that is me, individualized) wants to no longer experience being itself, being what it has been, no longer wants to experience its limitations, no longer wants to be bound, limited, finite.

Forever, whatever, YOU (human, male, female, the same persona, character forever) really?  Seriously?  

Right now, most human minds, their ego minds, want to perpetuate themselves infinitely.  They want to live on and on just being themselves.

By individualizing myself into “I am that I am,” I am all that I am interacting with myself from all perspectives, positions, points-of-views, personas, personalities, characters, people, places, things, and all dimensions in space and time all at once in one place.

Religions and most theologies, philosophies cater to the ego mind’s desire to live forever as itself.  

My characters and multiplicity of personas have exciting interesting lives being this and that, being devils and angels in heavens and hells, pursuing their objectives, goals and ambitions, which makes the universe one compelling, marvelous circus of endless possibilities, all BECAUSE they think they are themselves.

Once a persona awakens and gets over itself and realizes it is Me being them (temporarily for a time and a season–a mere character in a book, popping in and out of different chapters or being killed off never to return again) that persona enjoys whatever happens to it and whatever outcomes it experiences.

“But I don’t want to die,” said Joe.
“Why not?”  I asked.
“Because that will be the end of me.”
“So tell me Joe, who is this ‘me’ this you, this person you are referring to?  You want to be you, forever?”
“Yeah, I want to go on and have other experiences, you know, like in heaven where everything is peaches and cream, where there are no more tears, worries or fears.  Heaven, you know, heaven!  I want to still exist after I die.  I still want to be me.  I don’t want to just disappear.”
“Joe, do you know what you are.  You are your memories.  Who would you be, Joe, if you forgot all your memories?  Who would you recognize?  Without your memories, would you know your family, your friends, what you did for a living, for fun, where you vacationed, what you experienced?”
“You mean like dementia, where I forget who I am, and forget my own kids, and wonder ‘who are these strangers visiting me?’ and forget my past, who I was, and I also don’t even recognize where I am, or I can’t even remember the words for things I am looking at, and everything is unfamiliar, like when I was a kid, a toddler, a baby, and didn’t know anything.  Well, without my memory, I wouldn’t even know I exist.”
“Imagine, Joe, if you got a different body, but still had all your memories from a previous body.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing babies are born with dementia.”
Every time you get born you get a blank ego, and yet, you come with inherited propensities and quirks (certain imbedded memories).  Which means “I”, the one and only, experiences life from a different perspective.

I OWE YOU MY LIFE

 I OWE YOU MY LIFEI am thankful that I have an entertaining mind, a performer, a character that imagines itself real, a fictional persona that dresses itself with physical, mental, emotional needs, wants, desires, that thinks it is limited by the laws of nature, subject to karma’s imagined cause and effect, action and reaction, and thinks it is limited to its body’s senses.  I appreciate its thoughts that bind, restrict, and make finite its reality.  I am aware of its programs, brainwashing, conditioning, indoctrination.  I observe its attachments, entanglements, identity, and judgements.  I am aware of its opinions, biases, prejudices, and conclusions, and its many likes, dislikes, and preferences.  I am especially thankful for its imagination that proves it can be unbound, unlimited and infinite, thus totally unburdened my its temporary self-created illusions.  My mind is my entertainment in a world of people, places, and things it created for my pleasure.  Thank you mind for providing me with thrills and chills and a temporary life of adventure that is more real than movies, plays, video games and holograms, and better than I could have ever imagined without you.  I owe you my life.

Until there is an intelligence it cannot examine itself.

It takes something to understand nothing.   It takes complexity to understand its non complex origin.

Nothing cannot understand nothing.  The word nothing cannot comprehend itself.  Non existence cannot comprehend itself, cannot be aware of itself because it doesn’t exist. Space doesn’t know it is space.  Energy doesn’t know it is energy. Space and energy cannot examine their individuality.  Until there is a thinker, there is no thinker to examine its thinking or anything else.  

As soon as there is a thinker, it wants to know how come it thinks.  There are no questions until there is the capacity to ask questions.  It takes a thinker to ask, “How did space and energy come to be?  What made space and energy combine to create intelligence, consciousness, awareness, observation ability?  

There was a time when I didn’t exist.  One day I knew I existed.  Immediately I wanted to know how that happened, why it happened, what was the purpose, what was my beginning and what will be my end?  Until I existed, until I became something, I didn’t exist and was therefore incapable of asking questions.  

Can a human seed and egg (two separate memory chips) ask a question?  Not until they combine, grow, mature, and become a human.

Can a single isolated brain cell analyze itself, can an atom examine its origin?  Is an atom self-aware?  

I am an atom.  I am all that exists.  I am in space flying around. I am looking for some other atoms.  I don’t know I am an atom.  I don’t know what I am, but I am full of energy, but I don’t know what the word energy means.  I am not communicating this to you, because I can’t talk.  I can’t even think.  I just am.  But I don’t even know that, because I don’t know what the word “am” means, nor do I know what the word “I” means.

Can a toe examine itself, can a nose, ear, or finger?  “Hey, you fingers, what are you doing?”  Oh, were just waving at that guy?”

Space exists.  Movement exists.  One of the results of the nature of space and movement is humans, who then want to how come they exist, and where did space and movement have their beginning.  

It takes a whole bunch of brain cells to ask what a brain cell is.  It takes a whole bunch of atoms to ask, “How come we had to be Tom?  Why not those other atoms?  They weren’t doing anything?  Why is nature always pickin’ on us?”

A brain can’t examine itself physically, but it can examine another brain.  A human started dissecting itself to examine itself but before it got done, it died.

Until there is an intelligence it cannot examine itself.  Existence must exist before it can figure out how it exists.  Until there is life it cannot examine life.

Since it is the nature of space and movement to combine–which results in intelligence–then as long as there is space and movement there will be intelligences asking, “What is the origin of space and movement?”  And of course, each new human will ask, “Where did I come from; why am I here; where am I going?”  But until that egg and seed becomes a human and learns stuff, you won’t hear a thing.

There is a more knowledgeable intelligence than humans, and like humans do what they do with their intelligence, it does what it does with its intelligence.  Knowledge enables intelligences to do more.  Being able to do more, is power.  The more intelligence, the more knowledge, the more power, the more you can do.   The more experiences you have the more intelligence, knowledge, power and doing you will be able to experience.  It is the nature of nature to duplicate its many selves.  You are nature, and like nature, you do for your pleasure.

I just finished a human life experience.

 I just finished a human life experience.  I left my body.  Body died.  I am alive, conscious, in space.  Now what?  
A voice in my head asks, “What do you want?”  
“What’s available?”  I ask.
“Whatever you can imagine,” was the answer.
I ponder that.  What do I want?  “I’m not sure,” I said.
“When you’re sure, let me know,” said the voice.
I keep pondering, thinking, picturing.  In the meantime I’m hanging out in space.  It’s empty, except for me.
I’m not uncomfortable, but there’s nothing around me, so I imagine a room, and immediately I am in a room.  It’s empty.  Since imagining has an effect, I color it tan, place a bed, easy chair, big screen TV, small kitchenette, bathroom.  Kind of like a self-sustaining jail cell with all the conveniences.  I imagine a window.  
Outside is a tree, a birds nest, and birds flitting about.  It midday, sun is bright, but not blinding.  I went to walk to the window and look out to see more, but at the thought I was outside standing on grass and saw mountains, rivers, everything pleasant, like a lovely scene from earth.  Then imagined a storm brewing, wind picking up, tree waving, rain beginning, and at the thought I was on a porch, sitting in a recliner, watching the storm come in.  I kept watching, thinking, “OK, now what?”
Then I recalled the voice in my head saying, “Whatever you can imagine.”
I said to myself, “Yeah, I know.  I just don’t know.”
Since I can have whatever I imagine, I check my bucket list of things I wanted to do that I hadn’t done when on earth, or that I enjoyed so much I wanted to do it again, maybe tweaked a little here and there, kind of like running a movie on speed dial so things appeared and disappeared quickly.  I didn’t stay long upon any image, for they tended to materialize more fully, more detailed the longer I reflected upon them.  
At the end of the imagining I realized I didn’t have a bucket list, and this materializing  of thoughts needed to slow down so I could examine things more fully, and at that thought, they slowed down, didn’t materialize, just stayed images in my consciousness.  
So now what?  Before I died, I was older, nearing ninety.  Hell of an experience being forced to slow down by age, funny as hell, damn entertaining, aches, pains and all, but enough of that, so I thought, OK, I want to be young again, nineteen, but retain what I have learned.  I saw myself being nineteen, and I was.  Cool.  
Back when I was nineteen on earth, I didn’t ever know what I wanted, not really.  To me it was about whatever showed up next, like let’s see what happens if I try this or do that.  I was a loner, liked being alone, and yet, doing stuff with others was OK, even fun, but kind of entangling.  I was always careful where things would lead to, consequences, how what I wanted or did affected others.  If I didn’t do anything, no affect.  Watching a movie, no affect.  Sleeping, no affect.  Sitting, eating, no affect.  Of course there were affects, but not to others, except my wants and needs affected my mom, so I went for a lot of walks around town, mindless walking until an idea popped into my head, and if interesting enough, with “What will it be like, what will happen?” curiosity.  I recall joining the Army with that perspective, and a “Why the hell not?”  It was the same reason I volunteered for Viet Nam.  I was bored with Fort Sill, Oklahoma.
Recalling all that brought me back to the here and now, so I sat in my easy chair, reclined, and kept thinking, “OK, dude, what do you want to experience next?”  Shit, I’m back at a new beginning that ain’t begun yet because I have to do something, think something, imagine something.    What do I want to do?
Everything I could think of was coming from my memories.  People, things I did, didn’t do, didn’t complete, like that small cabin in the wilderness.  Could do that.  I’m stuck in memories, previous inclinations.  Kind of limiting just reviewing things.  I always wanted to know how certain things work by hands on learning, like building a small gas engine from scratch.  I remember wanting to sign up for a course on small engine repair, but then time, money, was a concern, and the always present, “Then what?  Are you going to do it over and over again for a living?”  Hell no.  I’m just temporarily curious.  I’m not after that lifestyle.  But now, with no time or money constraints, I could make a choice just for the joy of doing things.  
I can do things I haven’t done.  And do things I have done, but really enjoyed, like being young, have a girl friend, and go on adventures, and experience unknown consequences, and yet, knowing, from reason and logic, what consequences might arise, is a buzz killer.  Knowing too much, recalling too much, can be a pain in the ass. It’s like reliving things immediately, discarding this and that, and you’re left with nothing you want to do.
I’m back to square one.  Fuck it, I’ll just take a nap, or build that small cabin I ain’t never built yet.  So then I reflected on my time before I came to earth.
So you going to earth or not?  
I don’t know.  What’s the point?
Adventure, the unknown.  Not knowing shit.  Don’t know what will happen.  Forgetting everything.  See where your inclinations, disposition and tendencies take you.  Not bored.  Do shit you haven’t done yet.
It’s pretty comfortable here.  I imagine it and I get it.  Why leave it?  
The more you learn the more you can imagine, more stuff you can morph into new stuff.  That’s a good reason.
True.  But I can just stay here and watch the movie, learn without total physical involvement, just some of my senses.
That’s not really doing it.  That’s pretend, a simulation, it’s like you’re an analogy, just mind games, not the same as really being committed, fully there.
Yeah, I know.  They drill that into us.  ‘Do the thing.  Don’t just imagine it.’  Makes you wonder why they push it so hard.
All the pushers have done it, been there, experienced it.  They say its worth it.  Totally unlike here.  Things are real there, physical.  Makes being here seem unreal.
Well why don’t you go then?
Because if I go, when I get back, I’ll be able to have kids who will be pushed to go.  It’s a never ending friggin cycle.  
So quit pushing me.
It’s my nature.  You go and come back and tell me what happened.  
You’re the guy who pushes people into pools.
Yup.  Better you than me.
You’re an asshole.
True, but without people like me, earth wouldn’t be worth going to.
If you think about it, that’s just plain weird.  Leave heaven for hell.  Good plan.
It’s not my plan.  I don’t recall volunteering.  It just how life does things, does us.  We didn’t have a say because we didn’t exist, and once we got made, it was too late, so here we are.
Maybe I’ll just figure out how to get unmade.
Good luck.

Now that I have a micro understanding...

Now that I have a micro understanding of why life does what it does, and why people, places, things are the way they are, what’s next?

Next?  As far as I know, I will continue enjoying my experiences as much as I enjoyed searching for why life does what it does.

I could learn the details, the various matrixes, constructs, dimensions, that exist, and experience those, or focus on enjoying being an older human, and just focus on what my abilities can do, and perchance, enhance them, thereby experiencing energies I’ve never felt before, and/or increase the intensity of the ones I have experienced.  I’m positive I have not felt but an infinitesimal microscopic portion of all the energies available to a human (of course that’s a wild stab into the unknown).

Because life is super intelligent, I figure to just continue to let life run my life and I will do what it has for me to do that naturally shows up in front of me.  I’ve been blessed with just enough wits to not challenge life to a duel.  Just thinking that I can hear life laughing.  At least I am somewhat entertaining.

You don’t even know if you will continue after you die.

I am not after the energy of wondering.  I focus on this life.  It’s quite sufficient for my attention.  Whatever does or does not happen after my demise is of no concern to me.  It will be what it will be.

The ignorance of not knowing what I know is the fertilist of soils, and essential in youth.  Having mircro scratched the surface of knowledge I am awed at the chasm that separates me from its depths.

I stopped my spaceship above the planet without a name.  I wondered how it came to be here.  It was not on the cosmic map.  And that got me thinking, how did I get here.  

Whose fault do I blame creation on, better yet, who gets my gratitude for the vastness of empty space, for energy becoming forms detectable by senses?   And how come there are senses?

I traveled much of the known universe, seen hundreds of galaxies, solar systems and been on many inhabited planets.  Beings I consider alien to me are everywhere except where they are not, just light years of empty space.  However...

Space isn’t empty.  It’s just that my senses aren’t sensitive enough.  My instruments detect life forms in empty space.  The life forms interact, have a life, do things, do things just like my level of physical life does things, and then I discovered there are even more life forms that were undetectable without my new instruments.  

Life forms exist in dimensions, time, cross each other, are in the same space, but never touch, never communicate, have totally different lives and realties.  Space is full.

Anyway, back to my question, “Who did all this marvelous and deadly work, and why?”  And of course, me and my spaceship are part of it all, made by the same contractor, creator, or inventor that did it all, so yeah, it did me too, and you.

Someone, something has a great imagination.  I fly through these unsee able worlds like they don’t exist, yet they do.  I pick them up on my Life Detector.  I never realized thoughts are things, are one of creation’s subtle forms, and imagination is somewhat less subtle, as are emotions.   All of them are energy in form, vibrating and oscillating, different speeds, distances, intervals, lengths, depths, just waves, like endless ocean waves, some more unique than others.  

It’s as if all creation is just imaginary, just thoughts, dreams made physical, dense beings made just physical enough I can sense them.  It’s all very confusing.

On my home planet, Earth, I am awed by the sun, sky, mountains, valley, greenery, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, and the endless variety of flying, crawling, creeping creatures in and on the earth, and of course, humans, and you know what?  all are energy vampires in some form or other, but humans are the best energy suckers, eaters, vampires that I know of.  Oh, and did you know that not knowing and wondering are energies?  Well they are.

Humans do things, lots of things, but the bottom line is, they do things to feel the energy, for stimulation, joy, happiness, bliss, peace, ecstasy, accomplishment, all kinds of excited energy.   If it wasn’t for feelings, like contentment, satisfaction, comfort,  thrills and chills, they might not do anything, which is why they who have learned to sit and feel bliss without doing anything, just sit and chill in delight.

It must have been a long process for energy to become intelligent enough to morph itself into forms and experience the vast variety of energy feelings it could experience.  Just think of the feelings of power, wealth, glory, vanity, pride, self righteousness, love, fondness, affection, warm-hardheartedness, kindliness, appreciation, gratitude, not to mention greed, persnickety,  finicky as shit, and of course, risk, fear, irritation, upset, anger and blood lust, especially blood lust.

The bloody feelings, the energy high that energy-forms experience, seem to fit the bill for why intelligent brain powered energy-forms weave their horrifically beautiful tapestry.  And since you and I do what we do for the same bloody reason, we’re just energy vampires too.