THE BOOK OF LIFE
1. The purpose of life is not to personally torment you. The purpose of Life is for humans to torment each other–which is the reason marriage was invented–makes it legal.
2. Life created humans and hasn’t stopped laughing since. Humans are entertaining. Life made humans for its pleasure, for its fun. Humans make humans too, mostly by accident. They had fun, and nine months later they have an infant, a teenager under construction.
3. All humans bring sunshine into a room, some by entering, some by leaving, some by showing up in their obituary.
4. Earth is a killer theme park. Violent death fuels life. It’s called DEATH WORLD. To eat, you either hire a killer or are a killer or starve to death. The proof is in your die-t. Wether animal corpses, or plant corpses, humans gut, pluck, skin, slice and dice to eat. The living beat the dead until they’re tender, and then bite, rip, chomp and chew. Humans are not the only ones that kill. Mother nature kills humans, exterminates her off-spring, kills her babies. She will reclaim you ass-sets. She will repossess your butt. From birth, nature-mommy raises humans for lunch meat for her micro-organisms that love to feast at the human-body buffet until you’re bare bones. Mommy is a genocidal mass-serial-killer cannibal. Life is a buffet and you are the main course and your children are dessert. Welcome to your warm and fuzzy mother-earth home. Life is a deadly picnic, a fatal smorgasbord. You’re on the menu. You enter crying, screw around making more food, and leave screaming, and end up manure. Enjoy your visit (until you’re dinner).
5. If brainwashing during your suckling years wasn’t enough to drive you nuts, along came your weird relatives and goofy friends spouting their cockamamie opinions and beliefs about life, people, places and things. You might have survived that onslaught, but then came culture, society, schooling, advertising, and Hollywood brandishing their self-serving propaganda. The murder of your mind as a sane thinker was no accident. It was a premeditated conspiracy to turn you into a mindless, obedient, and productive societal drone–and it worked. If you think it did not work, that’s not only proof that it did work, it’s proof why some humans identify as emotional support chickens.
19. A human holding its newborn has questions. Will it be a Republican, Democrat, or serial killer? And what do we do if it doesn’t like cheese cake.
21. Raise up a child in the way it should go (program it) and outwardly it will submit to its parent’s rules while inwardly plotting its revenge or escape–merely holding on until it can drive.
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