intro

When something happens that you don’t like, the only rational response is to cry about it.  Thankfully there are many ways to do that. If life is screwing you, screw it right back. How dare life be different than you think it should be.  You have the perfect right to complain when someone isn’t like you, doesn’t think like you, doesn’t look like you, doesn’t do things your way. So many people think life is about them, about their happiness.  They couldn’t be more wrong.  Life is about you, YOUR happiness. Those other people are nuts.  

“IT’S YOUR WAY OR THERE’S HELL TO PAY.”   That’s your motto.  Your body, mind, and emotions have needs, wants, and desires. It’s your job to fulfill them.   It is unrealistic, irrational, illogical, nonsensical and unreasonable for you to roll over and accept life being different than the way you think it should be. Just because life has been getting away with doing things its way for like forever, gives it no right to continue doing that now that you’re here.  It’s time to let life know who you are, to show it what you can do.  It’s time to RELEASE: THE CRYBABY.

It’s time to show the world just how big of a pain in the ass you can be when life doesn’t go your way.  Do not let people who disagree with you, be at peace, happy and joyful.  Make them pay.  Make them regret that you were ever born.  Make them repent that they ever befriended, dated, or married you.  This is your life.  Give ‘em hell.  Make their lives miserable. UNLEASH THE CRYBABY!

When your mind is not happy, make sure no one is happy.  When your mind is unpleasant, make sure everyone is unpleasant.  Never be at peace  when life doesn’t go your way.  Never let your mind accept reality. If you accept reality, you’re nuts. Don’t be nuts. Drive reality nuts. Drive others nuts.  Use your weapons: give them the silent treatment, pout, sulk, bitch and moan.  Get irritated, upset and angry.  Show them just how unpleasant you can make their lives.  And if they try to share logic and reason that doesn’t jive with your way–which is THE way, the right way–make sure there’s hell to pay.  Use the weapon you used when you were a two-year old, throw a tantrum, roll on the floor, gyrate your body, thrash around, flail your legs and arms, pummel yourself, yell, scream, swear like a sailor, and then get up and  throw things.  To add insult to injury use your ultimate weapon: Look them in the eyes and yell, “You don’t love me!” and then walk away all huffy and puffy like, and later, when they are lucky enough to see you again, use your body language, slouch, frown, look dejected, unconsolable, and then smack ‘em with dirty looks.  Never undervalue the destructively rejuvenating  power of THE CRYBABY.



The plague of crybabies has reached pandemic levels just in time for the “karens” and the “woke.”  We wouldn’t be enjoying them if it wasn’t “THE TIME OF CRYBABIES” (soon to be a movie called DELUSIONAL CULTURES THAT DESTROYED THEMSELVES).  I’m very grateful to live the movie instead of watching it.  Movies aren’t nearly as entertaining as the real thing.   

If you want to experience a crybaby unleashed, take away its phone or other computer or gaming device, or just be there when a “Karen” or “Woke” person decides to bless you with free entertainment.

1.  “Logic and reason are easily debunked by feelings,” said no sane person ever.

2.  Did you know there is a Crybaby Anonymous?  It’s called, CA, or Kaka for short. There are seven billion nonmembers doing their best to not be anonymous.  There are no meetings, but anti-social media meets every few seconds.  You can freely yell, “LIFE IS NOT FAIR!” and no one will care.  The main topic at Crybaby Anonymous is, Things That Suck.  Sub-sucking topics include certain people, some places, some spouses, all ex-spouse (every damn one of them) roommates, ex roommates, cheap dates, stupid jobs, horrible schools, totally nuts teachers, shit masquerading as food, lack of gimme gimme government, weather that leaks on your parade, mother-in-laws that know your not good enough for their “perfect” child, and teenagers with an IQ over 136.   Other suck-subjects include accidents you planned for someone else that backfired, sicknesses and disease caused by eating shit disguised as food,  disability from thinking you’re smarter than a ladder, and, why your parents didn’t buy bullet proof condemns.  And finally, wrinkly, sagging boob and butts that look like your face, Alien hair growth, Falsifying your face with teeth, rickety and feeble Chinese replacement body parts,  and re-toilet-not training for seniors, and, why are funerals so popular? These will be cried about.  Trophies will go to the complainer and whiner with the saddest story, reddest eyes or whoever brought the most Kleenex.  All meetings are video tapped for your pleasure in case of  Alzheimer, dementia, or reincarnation.

2. Who invented Crybabies? Parents and society programmed their dropplings to sound like bummed-out snowflakes melting over an open fire.  From birth, parents reacted to their little shit-makers midnight, shrieking by asking, “Remind me why we had this kid?”  and then, thereafter,  they continued to program their little puke-spewers to be forever after crybabies by catering to their every discomfort, and then, under penalty of law, they were forced to endure them and suffer them until their glorious release from parental prison when their kids finally turned forty-five and had to evict them from their bedrooms (which their parents immediately turned into indoor swimming pools filled with sharks and no warning signs).


3.  The Details:  What follows is scientifically backed, ‘pee’ reviewed, and absolutely confirmed conjecture about why you might be a crybaby: When you were a baby you screamed when you got physically  uncomfortable and  someone cared  for you  so you’d  be  comfortable and shut-up.  As a  child you cried when you got emotionally uncomfortable and someone indulged you so you’d be satisfied and shut-up.  As a youth you belly-ached when you got mentally uncomfortable and someone counseled you so you’d feel gratified and shut-up.  As a teenager you complained when you got spiritually uncomfortable and someone guided you so you’d feel at peace and shut-up. And now as an adult you cry, scream, belly-ache and complain when life doesn’t cater to your every nonsensical, ludicrous and silly need, want and desire and everyone wishes you’d shut-up.