intero 2

 1.  “The truth is easily debunked by how I feel. Quit trying to confuse me with your high brow logical logic, rational reasoning, sensible sense and factual facts.  If I identify as the earth and I tell you to get off, you better take a hike (just not on me).  Just because I do not look like a male, or a female, or a pretzel, or a dog, or a cat doesn’t mean I’m not a giraffe.  You’re not allowed to hurt my feelings because I am special, but I can hurt your feelings because you are not.

2.  “Your insanity is not my problem, and I’m no longer going to be quietly quiet and  silently silent because I have the power of The Crybaby.  That’s right, Crybaby power.  Hear me roar.

3.  “People think life is about them, about their happiness.  They couldn’t be more wrong.  Life is not about them.  Life is about ME.  Life is about MY happiness. All those other people are nuts.  

4.  “If life screws with my life, I’ll screw it right back. How dare life be different than I  think it should be. How dare life not go my way.  I have the perfect right,(even an obligation)  to complain when life stupidly creates people who do not think like me, people who do not look, act, and do things MY way.  What was life thinking?

5.  “IT’S MY WAY OR YOU WILL PAY.”   That’s my motto.  My body, mind, and emotions have needs, wants, and desires. It’s my job to fulfill them.   It is unrealistic, irrational, illogical, nonsensical and unreasonable for me to roll over and accept life being different than the way I think it should be. Just because life has been getting away with doing things its way–for like forever–gives it no right to continue doing that now that I am here.  It’s time to let life know who I am, to show life what I can do.  It’s time to RELEASE: THE CRYBABY.

6.  “It’s time to show the world  just how big of a pain in the ass I can be when life doesn’t go my way.  I will never let people who disagree with me, be at peace, happy and joyful.  I’ll make them pay.  I’ll make them regret that they were ever born.  I will make them repent that they ever befriended, dated, or married me.  This is my life.  I’ll give ‘em hell.  I’ll make their lives miserable. I WILL UNLEASH THE CRYBABY!

7.  “When my mind is not happy, I make sure no one is happy.  When my mind is unpleasant, I make sure everyone is unpleasant.  I will never be at peace  when life doesn’t go my way.  I will never let my mind accept reality. If I accept reality, I would be nuts. Well I am not nuts.  But I will drive reality nuts. I will use my CRYBABY weapons of mass misery.  I will give people the silent treatment, pout, sulk, bitch and moan.  I will get irritated, upset and angry.  I will show them just how unpleasant I can make their lives.  And if they try to share logic and reason that doesn’t jive with my jive, there will be hell to pay.  I will use the weapon I used when I was a two-year old.  I will throw tantrums, roll on the floor, gyrate my body, thrash and flail my legs and arms, pummel myself, yell, scream, swear like a sailor, and then get up and  throw things.  If I must I’ll use my ultimate weapon: I’ll look them in the eyes and yell, “You don’t love me!” and then walk away all huffy and puffy like, and later, when they are lucky enough to see me again, I’ll use my body language, slouch, frown, look dejected, unconsolable, and then smack ‘em with dirty looks.  Never undervalue the destructively rejuvenating  power of THE CRYBABY.