YOUR THOUGHTS

 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS
AND
THOUGHTS ABOUT THOUGHTS AND LIFE

1.  Your mind is a tool.  Don’t be its fool.  

2.

I used to let my mind run wild,
Untamed,  unruly like a child.
I didn’t know my mind’s a tool
That makes me wise or insane fool.  
I started watching every thought,
Banished the harebrained ones I caught.  
Mad thoughts that will not leave my mind
I replace with sensible kinds.  
Two thoughts at once no one can play
Contrary to what all women say.

 

 3.  All humans bring sunshine into a room, some by entering, some by leaving, some by bringing donuts, some by showing up in an obituary.

4.  Life created humans and  hasn’t stopped laughing.  Humans are funny.  Humans are entertaining–which is the second reason humans make other humans.  

5.  Humans come with an expiration date, like a package of hamburger.  Being a temporary human has benefits: Payback may be attempted but not consummated. Your time may run out before you get unlucky. You can avoid baths and stink–folks will just think your time is up.

6.  The purpose of life is not to personally torment and torture you.  The purpose of Life is for humans to torture each other–some call it marriage.  

7.  Humans don’t always identify as humans.  Identifying as something else has consequences.  Humans who identify as flies live 25 days.  Cats have 9 lives. If you identify as a turtle it comes with a free RV.  

8.   Life doesn’t care what humans think and believe.  You can believe whatever you think.  I think life is fun.  If I change my thinking, I’ll join a religion.  

9. You were born with three amazing abilities, bad breath, body odor and gas. They are your weapons.  Learn to use them. They’re the only superpowers you will ever have.

10.  You were born with an open, clear, free, unspoiled, unpolluted mind: no thoughts, no beliefs, no faiths, no religion, no theology, philosophy, theory, no biases, prejudices, opinions, no likes and dislikes, and no conclusions, illusions or delusions about life.  If you have not analyzed your thoughts and beliefs you might be as nuts as your parents.
 

11. You don’t have to be a stooge to experience being a stooge. You don’t have to be a flunky to experience being a flunky. You don’t have to be a slave to experience being a slave.  If you are not the master of your mind, your mind is your master.

12.

Did your thoughts not help to make
The person that is you?
Of the thoughts you could have thought
who Else but you did choose?
Like a seed your every thought
Produces fruit in kind.
Either you are victim of
Or master of your mind.

13. There are not enough words to explain life, so humans make shit up.  It’s called belief.  Which is why humans invented the words thingmabob and whatchamacallit.

14.  If you wake up in the morning all sucky, and say, “Damn, another day in paradise,” but really mean, “Damn, another day on Sucky World,”  your mind has a serious case of LIFE SUCKS.  What to do?  Focus on when life is in a good mood, like when it wipes out a city so fast that no one knows they’re dead until they realize the light at the end of the tunnel is not a freight train.

15.  Thoughts create dramas. Think of your thoughts as free entertainment until they cost you

16.  Men are happy when they hear, “Dinner is ready.”  “Let’s play doctor.”  Men are walking seed bags looking to start an orchard.

17.  For women to be happy they need change.  They prefer dollars, but will move furniture for free.

18.  Men like adventure.  They are attracted to women’s personalities. They never know which one their gonna get.  

19.  Women put on makeup to get attention.  When they get a man at attention, they....

20. A human holding its newborn has questions.  Will it be a Republican, Democrat, or serial killer?  And what if it doesn’t like cheese cake.

21.  The cure for thinking “Life is not worth living,” is dementia.

22.  Raise up a child in the way it should go (program it) and it will submit to its parent’s ways until it’s brain starts working and it questions its thinking (but will feign agreement even with nonsense as long as it gets free room and board.

23.  If  humans think clearly, it’s a miracle of nature.  If humans think they think clearly, it’s a miracle of programing and indoctrination.  

24.

You think it through before you do,
Or you will rue your poison brew,
And have to spew your noxious slew,
And then undo your bugaboo,
Or you’ll be screwed, tied and tattooed,
Because you blew thinking it through.