Because you’re not dead, you have at least one more day to breath and have experiences (some people didn’t make it). If you don’t like breathing and don’t like the experiences you are having, it’s not too late to feed your mind new thoughts so it will stop being a poopoo head.
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I used to let my mind run wild,
Untamed, unruly like a child.
I didn’t know my mind’s a tool
That makes me wise or a fool.
I started watching every thought,
Banished the harebrained ones I caught.
Mad thoughts that will not leave my mind
I replace with weirder kinds.
Two thoughts at once no one can play
Contrary to what your ex did say.
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What follows are thought-zingers, shock-thoughts, and thought-bombs that will change the way your mind currently bitches about humans, earth, and life. Your old conditioning, programming, indoctrination, and brainwashing will be replaced with new conditioning, programming, indoctrination, and brainwashing. Your new mind will be like your old mind, but it will use different words. Afterwards you will experience life, earth, and humans differently (but they will still be weird).
These thoughts have been meticulously and unprecisely disarranged in random and jumbled disorder to guarantee mind stimulating and brain altering experiences (just like life does to you without your permission, approval, and consent–which is also how you got dumped here ). -----------------
1. All humans bring sunshine into a room, some by entering, some by leaving, some by bringing donuts, some by showing up in an obituary.
2. There are not enough words to explain life accurately, so I’m not even going to try. Words originated from senses experiencing physicality. And then mind created words to explain physical experiences. Mind even created words for wordless experiences: “I saw a thingmabob and whatchamacallit.” And that’s why it’s difficult to explain life–not enough words. It would be foolish to think anyone actually understands life, which is why humans make shit up. It’s called belief.
3. Life’s “purpose” is not to personally torment and torture you. Life’s “purpose” is to torment and torture everyone, but not everyone boobs about it (if I remember right, there were a couple at this Cannabis store...).
4. Men don’t understand women, but women understand men. Men only need to hear two words from women to be happy: food, sex (order may vary). When a woman talks, all that men hear is, “blaa, blaa, sex, blaa, blaa, food, blaa, blaa.”
5. Women need lots of words to be happy, which why men can’t make women happy. Women need excitement, adventure, change, or they’ll move the furniture around while your gone.
6. Life doesn’t care what humans think. Life doesn’t care what humans do. Life doesn’t give a flying taco what humans do to each other, and life doesn’t give a smelly outhouse what humans do to the earth–which is obvious, since life does nothing about murder, war, and littering. Life doesn’t exist to please human mind’s needs, wants, and desires. Life creates for its pleasure. And since life created humans, and since life doesn’t care what humans think and do, everything humans think and do is life’s fault (that should make you feel better in a crappy kind of way).
7. You were born with three amazing abilities, bad breath, body odor and gas. They are your weapons. Learn to use them. They may be the only superpowers you ever have.
8. If you think your life isn’t worth living, maybe you’ll get lucky and die screaming.
9. If you have a sour attitude when something doesn’t go your way, your sour attitude will not sweeten your whine.
10. You were born with an open, clear, free, unpolluted mind: no thoughts, no beliefs, no faiths, no religion, no theology, philosophy, theory, no biases, prejudices, opinions, no likes and dislikes, and no conclusions, illusions or delusions about life, but THAT didn’t last long because your parents programmed, indoctrinated, and brainwashed you hoping to create a cooperative mental clone. As a result, if you have not inventoried and analyzed the thoughts and beliefs you entertain (and haven’t dumped the bullshit) you are living someone else’s life, unconsciously. Congratulations! You are your mom and dad on steroids.
11. DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND ENJOY (just) BEING ALIVE, BREATHING AND EXPERIENCING LIFE, or do you wake up in the morning and say, “Damn, another day in paradise,” but really mean, “Damn, another day on this sucky planet!”? If you wake up all sucky, you might have a serious case of LIFE SUCKS. What to do? Keep inhaling. Don’t get depressed. Don’t get paranoid just because life is going to kill you eventually. Focus on pizza, or Chinese food, or Mexican food.
12. Mind is entertaining, as long as you don’t mistake your mind for you. You’re not your mind. Your mind is like an alien with a weird personality, agenda and issues galore. Enjoy its complaining and conniption fits when it has experiences it doesn’t like. when life doesn’t go its way. Don’t engage it when it goes nuts. Instead, relax, release, let go,
Did your thoughts not help to make
The person that is you?
Of the thoughts you could have thought who Else but you did choose?
Like a seed your every thought
Produces fruit in kind.
Either you are victim of
Or master of your mind.
7.
Just think it through before you do,
Or you will rue your poison brew,
And have to spew your noxious slew,
And then undo your bugaboo,
Or you’ll be screwed, tied and tattooed,
Because you blew thinking it through.
8. YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR LIFE. Change your thoughts, change your life. If you’re enjoying all that is life, but don’t like it, change the thoughts that cause you to enjoy all that is life. Easy-peeezy.
9. If humans think clearly, it’s a miracle of nature. If humans think they think clearly, it’s a miracle of programing and indoctrination.
10. If brainwashing during your suckling years wasn’t enough to drive you nuts, along came your weird uncles, crazy aunts, grumpy grandpas and grandmas and goofy friends spouting their cockamamie opinions and beliefs about life, people, places and things. You might have survived that onslaught, but then came culture, society, schooling, advertising, and Hollywood all brandishing their self-serving propaganda. The murder of your mind as a sane thinker was no accident. It was a premeditated and preordained and a done-deal-conspiracy to turn you into a mindless, obedient, and productive societal drone–and it worked. If you think it did not work, that’s proof that it did.
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