I AM LIFE.......

 I AM LIFE

Introduction

“HI there.  I am Life.  Let’s talk.  By the way, if your ego thinks it’s a  big cheese on the pizza of life (and maybe it is) I’m the Pizza.  I am life. I am pure energy.  In English I am Life-Force, or coffee and energy drinks.  In China I am Chi.  In India I am Prana. Science calls me Atom, or worse, Quark’i’. Since it’s a proven truth that everything is made of energy (me) I am you (Now hold your breath for the big reveal: I am every person, place, and thing, which includes the gas you release and blame on your goldfish–you can call Stinky).   I’m like coffee or an energy drink, without me you’d be a dead couch potato in a murder mystery unable to wonder who-done-it.  Whether you like me or not is another question.  I am energy.  I am life.  I am all that is (but then I repeat myself.  I can’t help it, I mean look at all the humans I am, not to mention all those quadrillion look-a-like Quarks”).  I am every life-form, even mosquitoes, weeping willows, and toe fungus, and whether you like it or not,  I am you, no matter how weird you are.  AND (and that’s a BIG and) I am your thoughts, or as humans call them, The good, the bad, and the ugly.   
“Your thoughts are energy (me).  However, though I make thinking possible, what you think, is someone else’s fault (if  you’re young).  If you’re older and self-aware, what you think is your fault (maybe you shoulda got “No Fault Insurance– just in case”).
“‘Just in case of what?’ you ask.   Thanks for asking.  Now I can get into why I’m flapping my lips.  Thoughts create perspective, perspective creates attitude, attitude creates a state of mind. And your state of mind (unless your brain has physical problems) determines whether you’re able to enjoy living under a bridge and dumpster-diving for dinner and die screaming, or determines if you turn asshole (or worse, a crybaby) when you get a paper-cut.  In other words, your thoughts determine whether you enjoy life or suffer life (me).
But enough about me.  Let’s talk about you.


If your parents are around, you can blame them, if not, you can blame your young gullible mind, unless you’re old and nuts.  Actually (and I freely admit it if you bought this book) you can blame me because I created your mind to be exactly what it is.  Me bad.  But still, you should blame your parents and crazy relatives for programming, indoctrinating and brainwashing you when your mind was so young and open I could of (maybe should of)  sailed my yacht through it on my way to Venus or Mars.
Speaking of Venus and Mars, did you know female and male minds are incompatible unless they’re in love, which is when human minds stop working and  other things show up (never mind, I’m off subject).
Where was I?  Oh yeah.  The reason I am not your thoughts is because they are your thoughts.  Your thoughts are generated from your memory, from all the experiences you gathered from the moment you screamed ejecting your prenatal escape pod and entered (wait for it, wait for it) EXCITING, DARING, THRILLS AND CHILLS  DEATH WORLD–Welcome to the Universe’s ultimate pain and pleasure theme park adventure (“Damn that was a long sentence.  I gotta quit that.  I get confused”).  Birth is your  ticket in and death is your ticket out when your time is up  (“What time is it anyway?  Hmmm...You’re OK, your time is not up yet...wait a minute, I’m looking at the wrong name.  Oops!  Oh well, you’ll probably know when it happens” ).
Question: Is life going your way?  (If it is, I might have to change something... kidding).  Seriously, if life ISN’T going your way, I’m the villain.  Why?  Because I do life my way. I am life doing my thing.   The good news is, if you are having trouble with me do me my way,  it’s not your fault.  And as I said earlier, It’s your mind’s programming that is at fault (“We should talk a little more about me (life) and how to train your mind to enjoy ALL that is me (life) so you can get rid of your emotional support animal. It’s not a Giraffe, is it?”).

CHAPTER ONE

Ever wonder what you really are, where you came from, why you are here, where you are going and why you don’t enjoy all that is life (“of course you have–unless, before you were born–when they said, ‘Come get your brain,’ but you heard, ‘You’re to blame,’ and you ran like hell and haven’t stopped yet)?
I’m going to give you the whole enchilada right up front so you don’t have to suffer through this BIG book to find out why you don’t enjoy all that is life.  And, and, after reading the “Why You Don’t Enjoy All That Is Life”, if you do the opposite, you’ll know how to enjoy all that is life (“Brilliant, aye?  Oh never mind, I changed my mind.  Instead, here is THE LIST of what you need to tell your mind so you can enjoy all that is life...even more brilliant”).
HOW TO NEVER AGAIN GET IRRITATED, UPSET, ANGRY, CONCERNED, WORRIED, ANXIOUS, STRESS, AFRAID (UNPLEASANT) unless you enjoy it so much that it thrills you to death (after reading THE LIST, that you may not like or agree with (your mind has a perfect right to be wrong) the rest of the book expands and explains each point so you can argue with me (life), which happens in the last part of the book: TALKING TO YOURSELF.


THE LIST

1  
 Manage your mind.

2.
Receive all things with thankfulness.

3.
Be grateful you are alive having experiences.

4.  
Do your best for the joy of doing your best.

5.
Have no way life must go.  Life’s way, is THE WAY.

6.
Have no mental, physical, emotional needs, wants, desires that must be met.

7.
Do what is in front of you–don’t chase.

8.
Do not use people, places, things to feel pleasant.

9.
Accept what cannot be influenced, altered, changed or controlled.

10.
Do not care about outcomes

11.
Be inclusive, not exclusive.

12.  
Do not become mentally, emotionally physically attached, entangled, identified with people, places, things.


13.
Have no biases, prejudices, philosophies, theories, theologies, dogma, beliefs, faiths, religions, make no judgements, and draw no conclusions about life because your definitely not as smart as your mind thinks it is since it can’t even figure out how dial an old phone or something or other..........


14.
Have no preferences, likes, dislikes and you’ll be less bored because you’ll  try new things, but then, if you don’t like something, enjoy your boredom.
 


15.
Do not use ethics, virtue, morality to judge people unless you are hiring a plumber. Do not call things good or bad, virtuous or vile, good or evil, and do not divide life into dark and light unless you’re a vampire.

16.
Relax, release and let go when your mind or emotions have conniption fits.

17.
Don’t let your self-aware mind create a persona that mentally separates you from life.  Be less your ego, and people won’t run when they see you coming.

18.  Live, love, dance, and do not take life too seriously unless you run out of pizza.

19.
YOU are infinite, limitless, unbound life having a finite, limited, bound human experience.  YOU ARE temporarily a body, mind, and emotions, which means you’re gonna eventually be manure.

20.  Be aware of the law of diminishing returns, and I don’t mean inflation.

21.
Trust the universe–you ain’t smarter than it is unless you can make a Peacock shut the hell up when a stranger comes on your property.